2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
As long as you separate the male and female roles, you are unconscious. You are unconscious as long as you identify yourself in the same way with the role of parent, boss, professor, daughter, mother, wife, actress, doctor, and so on. It is precisely about identifying with the role, when you, for example, the boss at work, come home and forget to leave the role. This is what the identification with the role will be about. Or your children have grown up, and you prove to them: “I’m sick!”
Mindfulness is a way out of any role. Identifying yourself with a role is locking yourself in a box. If you are identified with the role of a parent, you can seriously harm your child, especially when he begins to grow up and no longer needs you as a parent. If you are identified with the role of a parent, your life can collapse as soon as your child leaves you as an adult. If you are identified with the role of a wife, you “lock” yourself into the box: “the wife should”, you lock your partner in the box: “the man should” and you both become unhappy, instead of just loving each other as two unique personalities. You will have a lot of complaints about the man as a man and yourself as a woman, but in this play, according to the script of the roles, feelings disappear.
Then you do not love the person, but only his role and the functions of this role. Moreover, if you identify with the role of a wife, you can get into trouble and marry just about anyone, because in reality it is important for you to be a wife, not a person. In this case, your personality will be oppressed by your role as a wife.
Being aware is giving up roles. Being aware is not living within the framework of roles, but simply being in contact with another and not demanding or expecting anything. Isn't that what you want: to be in a relationship and still be free? So who came up with this role play for you? Who replaced love for a role?
This story began in your childhood, when dad and mom played the roles of dad and mom. The role cuts off feelings and, above all, sincere love from the human soul. And dad and mom, performing these roles, often forgot and forget that you are alive and that you have feelings in response to their words and actions. A role deprives a person of empathy and compassion, because it is just a role and anyone can play this role.
Why are there so many divorces? Because we are not looking for a person in a partner, but for a role. And if an actor plays a role not according to your script, but in his own way, he can easily be replaced with another actor - just go to the registry office and delete the seal from the passport, dismiss this artist from the role of husband and hire another. The scenery and actors change, but the script is the same in which you try to force yourself and your partner. And what is this scenario? The one that your parents imposed on you is their scenario of the relationship between the two roles of a man and a woman.
Now let's look at the parent's role again. If you are identified with this role, then as soon as a child comes into this world, your child, you start teaching him, as if you are a boss and he is a subordinate. But who told you that a parent is the one who teaches. A parent, on the contrary, learns to be sincere, honest, open, spontaneous when a child comes into his life. The child teaches the parent to discover in himself the joy, creativity and pleasure that is available only to the child. A child knows how to live, because he will find something to rejoice in in any situation. But you forgot how to do it. So where did you get the idea that you should teach your child how to live? But you, identifying with the role of a parent, arrange hell for yourself and your child: “You must, you must, but this is not good enough, you can do better, but look how neighbor Petenka does it, and I, at your age, is did excellently, and you ….
Everything! From this moment on, you, the parent, make the child unhappy and lock him in the role of a helpless child for years to come. And as soon as he gives birth to his child, he will play it out, he will want to play the main role in the play and identify with the role of the main one in the relationship with the child, because, by your grace, he never managed to achieve anything in life. Being a parent is to steal happiness from yourself and your offspring. Or maybe it is he, your child, who came to teach you how to live, to remember who you really are without a role?
And again, back to the gender issue. No one has yet succeeded in playing the role of a woman, a wife, a man, a husband. Once a rehearsed performance breaks down, at the moment when the soul asks for freedom from the cage of the role. Hence scandals, claims, betrayal, divorces. Because the role imposes a framework and you live by forcing yourself with this framework. You make soup when you fall off your feet for your husband because you are in the role of wife. He drives himself to a stroke trying to support you and the kids because he's in the role of a husband. The role is violence and this is someone else's life, not yours, it is dictated to you by the primitive direction of a primitive man. And this scenario is thoughtlessly passed down from generation to generation, thereby exacerbating the suffering of humanity.
Only unconscious people need a role. Conscious enough that their soul is unique and free. A conscious person does what he wants, an unconscious person rapes himself with a role and pretends at the same time that he is happy. So how to answer the question: "Who are you?", Besides, as we can - "mom, dad, wife, husband, child, parent, scientist, tractor driver, seller …"?
Discarding all the roles, remember who you really are. There is a unique you! There are no others like that on this earth! Finding yourself outside of all roles is what it means to become aware and mature. Relationships are possible simply out of love, not out of roles.
(c) Yulia Latunenko
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