Sibling Family Relationships

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Siblings are siblings.

- Aunt Klava, can I leave my toys with you for a while?

- What happened, Little Johnny?

- Yes, my brother was brought from the hospital. It is not yet known what kind of person …

It is generally accepted that when children grow up in a family, their development directly depends on their parents. From their impact directly on the child.

A child learns to live, first of all, from his first teachers - parents.

Also, the child can be significantly influenced by the relationship between siblings - siblings. Children also learn a lot from each other.

If a child grows up in a family as the only one, then he receives all the attention from dad and mom in full. And if another child appears in the family, then this very attention has to be shared with another person - a brother or sister.

A lot depends on the parents in what kind of relationship will be formed between the children.

An older child, when a younger one appears, may feel deprived of love, warmth, and intimacy. Now parents support, first of all, the youngest child, as weaker, smaller and defenseless.

And the elder, over time, begins to experience jealousy, anger and resentment. He wants to return everything to the primary state of affairs in the family, as it was before, when mom and dad "belonged" only to him. But it doesn't work like that anymore …

If the parents are able to pay sufficient attention to the older child, then the situation, over time, evens out and between the children, their own special relationships of attachment are formed. In which there is a place for friendship, mutual support, love, interest in each other, as similar and equal to oneself. After all, the world of children is different from the world of adults.

There is an opportunity for the child to speak with someone else in his "childish" language. Play and create together, which is very important for the development of children. Share emotions, impressions, exchange experiences and … learn from each other how to interact in the world.

When an older child feels deprived of parental care and receives less attention, he "artificially" creates situations in which parents will be forced to pay attention to him to the extent that he wants.

For example, a child begins to get sick more often, requiring treatment. And for this - to receive the necessary "portion" of tenderness, warmth and support. Or behave somehow defiantly, violate the rules and boundaries in the family or in society (kindergarten, school, public places).

The goal is one - to draw the attention of parents to themselves by such behavior.

Sometimes it works, but it happens that, on the contrary, he only gets even more irritation from his parents and a feeling of his uselessness.

And then feelings such as envy, jealousy, even hatred may arise for the youngest child.

There is a rivalry between the children for the love of their parents.

The deprived child does not feel happy in the family.

And if the parents also force him against his desire to look after and look after the younger child, shifting parental functions onto him, then he has a general protest. Which can also be expressed in completely different ways. But mostly - "bad" behavior.

Siblings have frequent quarrels, they cannot "agree" among themselves, demanding the intervention of mom and dad.

The older child, being alone with the younger, seeks to deliberately offend him. After all, he has more strength and power than the youngest child.

And the younger one does not understand what caused the "flurry" of irritation from the elder brother or sister. And … can still continue to love the sibling, as a dear and close creature.

And every time "get hurt" because of such an attitude towards him on the part of the elder.

Then a "ball" of pain, disappointment, resentment, love, warmth, anger is formed … In this, a lot of things can be mixed.

Sometimes children need to be given the opportunity to figure out their own "affairs" and not turn on at their first dissatisfied "bunch". They must learn to build their own interpersonal relationships, which they will then carry over into adulthood.

When on the part of an older child there is a clear aggressive tendency and hostility towards the younger, which may be unsafe, then the intervention of adults - parents is definitely necessary.

So that the elder does not cause moral and physical harm to the younger.

In such cases, it is necessary to deal with both the children and the family situation in general and parent-child relationships.

And protect the younger as a weaker child.

If there was no timely intervention on the part of the parents and the sibling relationship remained in a "painful" state, then later, being already adults, siblings can either distance themselves as much as possible and not communicate at all, including ignoring. Or endlessly continue the conflict "game", competing with each other …

And not to find common points of emotional contact in interpersonal interaction.

At the same time, they remain close people thanks to the family scenario, but they are very different in their inner state and emotional content of people. Like strangers …

In such a relationship, emotionally cold, many "frozen" feelings, little life and no further mutual development.