Sibling Rivalry. What Should Parents Do?

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Parents who have more than one child in their family know firsthand what child jealousy is. If you are just getting ready to give birth to your second baby, be prepared to face this problem. Unfortunately, the manifestation of childish jealousy is inevitable, but its manifestations can be smoothed out.

Childhood jealousy is a natural phenomenon, if parents learn to deal with it correctly, it can be used for the good of the family.

What influences the manifestation of childhood jealousy?

The following factors affect the severity of jealousy in children:

1. Parents' behavior, the amount of attention they give to children;
2. The relationship of parents to each other;
3. The ability of parents to accept and regulate their feelings and emotions;
4. The ability of parents to express their love, communicate their thoughts and accept their child.

Forms of childhood jealousy

Jealousy of this type can manifest itself in the following forms:

- an increase in the level of anxiety: worsening sleep, appetite, fears, unwillingness to get up in the morning;

- aggression directed at the youngest child: the desire to offend the baby, take away his favorite toys, constant fights between children;

- increased activity of the child, absent-mindedness, whims, restlessness;

- neurotic reactions in the form of hysteria, stuttering.

Sometimes childish jealousy outwardly practically does not manifest itself, but in the soul the child experiences a real tragedy. You can find out about the problem by observing your child. Perhaps the child began to get sick more often, to be sad, school performance deteriorated.

What should parents do?

It is important for mom and dad to respond correctly to childhood jealousy. You shouldn't ban this feeling or ignore it. At an early age, the child still cannot understand his emotions and control them, so it is worth helping him to understand what he is experiencing. This can be done as follows:

- talk about this topic with the child, explain his feelings, explain why this is happening;

- tell a fairy tale to a child in which the hero also felt jealous of his younger brother or sister, but when she grew up, he learned to play with her and my mother loved them equally.

- show the children that you love them equally, try not to choose a “favorite” for yourself, do not compare children, otherwise you will only aggravate the situation and bring up hatred in children for each other and for you.

- do not put children to each other as an example. Celebrate the uniqueness of each of them, support and help in all your endeavors. If you tell your children that someone is better and someone is worse, you will only teach them to feel inferior and hate other people.

In the event that you are only planning to have a second toddler, prepare the first child for this, but very carefully. Tell your child about what the baby looks like, show a photo of him when he was just as young, learned to crawl and walk, how much attention you paid to him, and how important it is for a newborn to be cared for. Inspire him to do all this together for his little brother or sister.

Form a positive attitude in the child about the arrival of a baby in the family, and gradually he will get used to this idea. Make every effort to make the appearance of the baby as painless as possible for the older child.

The positive effects of childhood jealousy

In addition to the negative, childhood jealousy also has a positive effect:

- the child learns to defend his interests;

- the opportunity to learn to build relationships with others;

- children get the opportunity to cultivate tolerance and independence;

- teaches to find compromise solutions.

The most important point in all this is the ability of parents to keep the confidence of their children in their love.