Love

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

It would seem that a simple concept and known to everyone, only the lazy is not said about love, however, people, with surprise, discover that someone can understand love in their own way and express it in their own way.

One believes in love at first sight, the other does not believe in it at all. Someone understands that falling in love and love are about different things, but believes that both of them can arise quickly. Someone believes that if you love, then it is impossible to experience negative emotions for a loved one, for example, to be angry with him. Otherwise, what kind of love is it if you sometimes want to run into a cute pillow? For someone, love is magic that will appear and solve all his problems, such a person will perceive different points of view on the phenomenon with aggression, because its whole essence is based on the expectation of magic, and the loss of support does not cause positive emotions. For esotericists, in general, with the concept of love, everything is so complex and diverse that it is not possible to describe it within the framework of one article.

I do not pretend to be the ultimate truth, and, at the same time, I want to share how I understand love. This understanding was formed from a variety of personal experiences, from observations of other people, from frank conversations with them, from professional knowledge.

For me, there is love, and there is love. The first one appears even at first sight and has little to do with reality; they fall in love with an image, with a fantasy about a person. You can talk about love if people already know well the different sides of each other and are ready to accept with these sides, because not everyone's peculiarities are tolerable. When you let go of a person with unacceptable character traits, there is love in that too, because you both get the chance to meet those who are more suitable for the union or to give an impetus to development. When you know that you cannot give something very important for another and refuse a relationship, and this is love, in such a case objectivity is important, since there is a temptation to decide for the other what is more important for him and deprive him of his choice. Falling in love is colored by strong emotions, which creates a whole cocktail of hormones, chemistry dissipates over time, many take this moment for "love leaving" and leave. If love arose between people who were able to get to know each other well and accept, it does not have the same hot experience as falling in love, rather it is a warm feeling and desire to be close, participating in the life of a partner.

The phenomenon of falling in love with an image is well revealed in long-distance relationships, especially if people have never met. In this case, there is an active completion of the desired features, supported by the fact that nothing prevents the other person from broadcasting all the best that he can think of about himself. I definitely do not believe in love at a distance because the essence of a person is revealed in joint activities, and this activity should affect different aspects and situations. For example, in a joint project at work, certain character traits may appear, but in everyday life, others come to the fore, which were difficult to guess.

Love is closely related to mutual respect, the ability to spiritual closeness, with common interests and goals, with the ability not to encroach on each other's freedom, which is called personal space. If in a relationship you humiliate yourself, constantly deny yourself something very important to you, make excuses, endure insults, this is not about love, but about the need to be in a relationship at any cost.

Everyone can express love in their own way and expect it to be expressed in relation to themselves, too, in their favorite manner. Gary Chapman writes about this in detail in his book "5 languages of love", highlighting the five needs of a person in interaction: words, time, gifts, help and physical contact. It turns out that love, not being expressed in the “language” of the partner, will not be perceived as such.

I believe that in love, dialogue and the willingness to meet each other halfway are important, and in dialogue you can find out each other's needs and implement them together. And, of course, love for others begins with love for yourself, because only when you are filled with yourself, you can give love to others.