2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
It is worn like an electric broom and boils like a kettle … Her hair is wrapped in a firming mask, her face is covered with clay, and she holds a mop in her hands. And all because she is a mother who wants to be in time for everything. And immediately. She does not and cannot have time for each case separately. And it is also a notorious new social trend that supports more active and exceptionally successful mothers in all spheres …
Just being a mom and taking care of your baby these days is almost insulting.… Especially when in your environment there are such successful ones, and the house is full of household appliances … Therefore, you need to try to do everything. Even if previously there was no predisposition to the life rhythm of a "hamster in a wheel" … Now you have to! Down with tears, down with resentment at these very "timers" - now I have to become like that!..
But much remains behind the scenes of becoming a successful mother who appreciates every minute. The price of external compliance with the trend of a skilled mother is given, at times, by serious emotional and physiological problems of a growing child.
Few people voice such a serious problem as the problem of the formation of a child's emotional reliance on their parents in general and on their mother in particular. (formation of attachment). Yes, the child grows up and looks quite favorable. Colds are rare, he walks smoothly … but the contact that he had with his parents in general and with his mother in particular until the age of three did not occur. This means that problems in kindergarten and school, as well as significant difficulties in adulthood, most likely cannot be avoided. At the end, at least - the formation of internal anxiety, provoking behavioral disorders. As a maximum, we see an infantile adult who grew up without support and age-appropriate attachment to parents.
Also, few people voice the depression of mothers who visit them in pursuit of a new life rhythm, multitasking, the ability to be the best of the best (almost ideal - both for the child and for the husband). Reading books on organizing everyday life for mothers enters into dissonance with the personal worldview of mothers, their patterns, behavioral characteristics, life rhythm … This is where mother's suffering begins from the fact that she cannot live and change her life like "those mothers …" … Although mothers often know how to read books correctly and take away the most necessary things from the content, not paying attention to the "propaganda slogans" about the joys of a new successful life.
And still few people talk about the problem of support for "mothers-timers" from loved ones. Yes, she herself may be ready for the fact that, thanks to competent advice and competent observations, her everyday life with the child will become harmonious, effective and deeply resourceful for herself. But on the part of her spouse, relatives or girlfriends, such a mother may face a misunderstanding: “they say, why does a goat need a button accordion? I started here … you don't know what yet! Do you think you are a mom, about whose success they will write a book later? There, cook borscht for your husband and sometimes spoil it with pretzels. And enough!… ". In connection with such cues, internal strong impulses can again lead to melancholy and a decrease in self-esteem.
And yes, about husbands need to be added separately. Not every man shares the need for his wife's success in those life periods of the family when the children are still young enough. According to many men, a woman should stay at home with a child at least until 3-5 years old. Its self-development and reduction of the risk of degradation can be achieved in other ways than going to work. So, for example, a man can see cookies baked by his wife and his five-year-old son according to a new recipe, or teaching a child to draw together with his mother is also a good option for female development. The most important thing that all dads understand is that a child should grow up healthy and happy. But how the wife handles household chores is often a good point of controversy among men …
Overall, mom is a very personal, intimate and unique concept. There can be no general template, what it should be in terms of success in work or in behavior in relation to others. The most important thing that a mother should definitely be endowed with is a pronounced maternal instinct and a need for contact with a child. Yes, a lot of gadgets have appeared in our homes - swings for babies, cradles, rugs, playpens, walkers … But mom should be in the child's world (dads, don't be offended! You need to write a separate article about you). And let household chores become a matter of household appliances!
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