Let's Talk About Happiness?

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Because when I asked people (more often I asked women this question), I got the same answers. The same! Or almost the same. I even started asking you to write it down. And this is what happens from time to time.

For happiness you need:

My house. (Apartment, room, island).

Money. (Unlimited).

Man. (Only for me. Go-fetch-a-kiss-go-out. And I am what I am.).

Outfits. (So that I have a dress that hangs under mink coats in a mahogany closet that stands in the living room of a mansion in a posh city where I myself am the big shot).

SPA. (Massage room, manicure-pedicure-plastic).

Dream job. (To do the least, and pay more).

etc….

An interesting thing, a competent alignment turns out! People know what they want. Not like, say, Shura Balaganov, who needed to get a fixed amount of money to be happy.

The picture is even more interesting when I asked to remember my lucky day. At least one. And not so long ago that would have happened. We do have "happy days", right?

The answers were…. no, you better see for yourself.

• Was at sea and watched the sunset. And there was such a feeling in my chest, throbbing … and tears welling up, and the wind was so salty, and my hair hugged my neck like that. I cried from happiness and from something unknown, something that has no name. From admiration as if.
• I had a baby. I held it to my heart. Inexpressible happiness pierced me to the ends of my hair. Even in the fingers of the hands, needles of happiness appeared. Such a miracle! My baby!
• Bed with your beloved. I have only a drop of perfume on me, and we are in ecstasy. It lasts forever. It is as if there is no time, and there is no body, neither mine nor my man. There is a kind of clot of power. We are given to each other and accepted. Delight and happiness!
• I returned home after a long absence. She hugged my loved ones. What a joy to be at home again. And surrounded by relatives.
• The disease receded. I'm healthy again! What a happiness to be healthy! Burn everything else with a blue flame! I breathe freely! I love the whole world!

• We walked until dawn. They looked not at him, holding hands. It turns out that there is a person in the world who understands me. It's amazing, because I don't understand myself, but here is such happiness. And this dawn…. as if we are meeting a new life. Together. Our first sunrise. I can't speak, and I just sigh happily, lowering my face to his chest.

• I left a prestigious but disgusting job and went to a cook! Since childhood, I dreamed of cooking and not doing anything else! That week I was busy in the kitchen, stove and oven - everything was occupied by my pots, my husband and I were waiting for guests. For some reason I remembered the phrase from the operetta about the Bat: “the coffee pot would rustle, you would be sitting in a dressing gown…”, something like that. So that it was always so. And then I hear my husband's voice: "I want it to be like this always!" I came to the room where he was sitting in a dressing gown at the computer. And I ask again what he is about. And he - he says how good it is at home today. I want it to be so always. So that you are cheerful and contented in the kitchen, so that you hum like now, so that it is just as good. Because I love it when you are happy. I'm happy myself. I feel good. And I …. and I quit. I wrote a statement. And I experienced such happiness as a load from my shoulders! I came home and cried. From happiness. Now I work as a cook and enjoy life.

And so on again … because happiness is really different for everyone. Joy of soul and body unites these states of happiness. The mind is turned off while experiencing this state. The sense of time is lost, we dissolve in the moment, we live it totally.

And all thoughts about what happiness is - they are rational. And besides that … stereotyped. Don't you think? It is believed that the social "approval" of any of our choices is the main engine of trade. That is, the most important advertisement for a product. It is not the quality of a thing or service that is now at the forefront, but a recognizable brand or product options that are not available to the majority, and thus distinguish its owner from the crowd. However, I was a little distracted.

By the way, if anyone is interested in how men answered this question about happiness, I will tell you. They almost never said the "right" things. Achieve, achieve, and so on. The answers were from the series "milk with a bun, but on the stove with a fool." Not literally, of course. I'm talking about the fact that their answers contained precisely the mental part of the pleasure of happiness, not the material one. “Well, why is happiness if there is no pleasure in life?” They reasoned. And they pondered what would give them a complacent mood.

I am ready to make mistakes, and discuss my assumption with you, dear friends. This is what it is. Public opinion (and it forms this opinion to a much greater extent than just tracking trends), considers girls to be more assiduous, reasonable and obedient than boys. What am I doing this for? And besides, girls often become “comfortable” children for their parents than tomboy boys. How do people reason? The girl, the au pair, will babysit the younger ones, do the homework carefully. She is also ready to work on herself in order to correct her shortcomings.

Flaws. Correct. Let's talk about this.

What are the most often directed efforts of teachers and other "educators" in our life? To correct deficiencies. Why study mathematics, you are good at it anyway, you study literature, there you are, only two! And what about geography? two? What about history? Also two? How about singing? Five!? No, can you hear? She also sings! No music lessons until you fix the deuces!

Exaggerated, of course, with the attraction of a bearded anecdote, but who said that there is no hint in the fairy tale? In fact, rarely is anyone busy developing their own or children's abilities. Now even less so. Why? Yes, because children from the age of three are sent to study quite "in an adult way", almost tennis and horseback riding, without first knowing what this child's soul is drawn to. Not recognizing her, soul, inclinations.

And even knowing these inclinations, parents often try to put "correct shortcomings" in the first place, thereby making stereotyped "cogs", depriving their child of individuality and … thereby … depriving him of happiness, since this child does not know what it is, his personal happiness.

We often ask ourselves why did we laugh less often? By the way, those who ask this question are still lucky, they at least remember how they burst into laughter in their youth for several hours in a row. They ask this question when they laugh heartily, and remember that their cheeks did not hurt so much before.

Do you remember what the elders told you? I can’t guarantee for sure, but something like “you ought to grow up, some laughs on your mind, you think that you got into a fairy tale, and you, my dear, got into life, you have to be more serious”. Well, here we are looking at serious people, adopting their experience and their idea of happiness. This is how it becomes stereotyped and understandable for everyone.

Tell someone that you work as a cook. Does this correlate with generally accepted criteria for success, and therefore happiness? Is success equal to happiness? And, if it is, what kind of success is it? Personal or socially approved? And for whom do we need to be happy? For everyone or for yourself?

I return again to the age-old question of self-love. And I offer you one more practical step along this path. Focus on developing your strengths, not fixing your "weaknesses." I will send those who think rationally in three letters. USP. (Unique Selling Proposition), I've written a lot about this. Understanding your uniqueness, your individual knowledge, skills, and abilities makes you a special person who understands your "wishes" and knows your strengths. This offer will favorably distinguish you from others and show the world your uniqueness, even when looking for a partner, even when looking for a job. I will send those who think intuitively there too. Because, having identified your strengths, you will find the very "destination", the path that you will go with joy.

I often meet with this point of view from different people: “Well, I can cook (I know herbs, I can massage, I can teach so that everyone understands, I know how to organize an event), well, what's wrong with that? everyone can do it. Just think, it's a big deal. People who easily and without difficulty succeed in any business think that it is easy for everyone in the world!

People!!!! you are wrong!!!! This is a stereotyped setting! We are all so accustomed to be the same, eliminating our shortcomings and equating to a common denominator, that we think that “there are no irreplaceable people” and other stereotyped thoughts. If something comes easy for you, it doesn't mean that other people do it as well and with the same style!

In addition, we were taught that in order to achieve something, we must try. And the fact that it is easy is all mischief. And so it turns out, there is nothing to invest there. Success is work. (Here's another stereotyped thought-form for you). And success, meanwhile, is achieved by people who have realized that most other people do not have access to their ease in solving some issues. Maybe they did not understand this, but simply do their favorite thing, because it is in demand by society, and their main difference from the rest is that they do it without straining. With pleasure. They, of course, work, naturally. But not overcoming, but developing at will and in the direction of their preferences!

Hence, with a feeling of happiness. And they may not have to think about how many outfits and money they need to be happy. Their state of mind is already complacent.

In my opinion, the "trick" is also that people who "found themselves", their own way to be happy, who have realized their inclinations, and therefore become "pro-pros" in their business, receive, as a rule, high fees. It happens that they surround themselves with beautiful things and travel. Smiling, with a happy face. And the people around them put the cart in front of the horse and think that the pro is happy that he has travel and things.

Friends, what do you think about happiness? I will be glad to hear from you.

Respect for the uniqueness of each of us.

Your Irina Panina.

Together we will find the path to your hidden possibilities