Life Hacks For Harmonious Relationships. Part One

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2024-01-15 16:05

What is a harmonious relationship? This is a daily inner work on yourself. If you do not consciously work on them and do not improve them, then they will collapse. The main components of such work are trust, closeness, knowledge of each other, support, movement in one direction towards common desires and goals. This is transformation.

Let's take a look at 10 key quotes from John Gray's Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus. We will turn them into life hacks that can be transformed into actions and applied in relationships. One life hack - one action.

Today we will consider 5 life hacks, the continuation will be in the second article.

Go.

"The best way to help a man achieve more is to make no attempt to change him."

A man comes into our life as a result of a conscious or unconscious choice. And often a woman, having some kind of illusory image of her chosen one, thinks that a real person can be adjusted to the existing image. Correct something, change something, give up something. Especially if a woman chooses a man who does not reach her a little. And she sees this at the very beginning of the relationship, but hopes in the near future to adjust it for herself. And after a while, disappointment comes. A man does not change! All his habits, thoughts, outlook on life do not lend themselves to adjustment. A man can change only when he himself makes such a decision and realizes that it is important for him.

First life hack: Helping a man achieve more is not making any attempt to change him.

If you want a man to grow up and achieve more in his life, then do not interfere with him. You can focus on his strengths and qualities. And based on these qualities and merits, stimulate its development and growth.

"Giving a man unsolicited advice is like questioning his ability to decide and act on his own. That is why they perceive interference so painfully. It is very important for them to realize that they will always and in everything cope with everything themselves."

Any advice you want to give your man, keep to yourself.

Second life hack: Never give unsolicited advice to your man. He himself is able to solve the problem. He himself is able to find action. He can handle it himself.

Only when a man comes with the intention of getting a recommendation or advice from you, only then you do it. If you have not been approached with this question, then you should not give advice. Even if you are able to solve the problem that has arisen faster and better. Because with such an action you will show the man that he himself cannot cope and resolve the situation. He will be aware that there is someone else who can take responsibility for himself. And it will be you. We learn to trust a man, to give him more freedom and space. And we learn to create tasks. And how he decides and does - will depend only on him.

Continued in the next article. In the meantime, we are working through the information received and applying it in life.

3. "Men are elated and energized when they feel needed. Women are elated and energized when they feel cared for."

It is very important for a man to feel needed - this is inherent in nature. A man feels valuable when a woman knows how to make requests to him. But you need to be able to ask - easily, flexibly, respectfully. And ask for what is important to you. A man manifests himself through action. Then the woman feels cared for, feels protected.

But often a woman is in the life scenario "I am myself" or "I am strong." By this, she broadcasts to the man that she herself can cope with everything, do and decide everything. And she really can do it and decide. But when a man appears in your living space, he should take care of you.

Third life hack: We do our best to make the man next to you feel needed.

Even if I myself know how to do something or decide. I still go and ask, show him the ultimate goal and thank him for what they did for me.

Otherwise, your man will be discouraged from any desire to do something for you. He will not feel important.

This does not only apply to your man. You need to apply this strategy to any man in your life - to your father, to your brother, to your work colleague. Be able to ask and thank for the work done for the final result.

4. "Making a man the only source of support and love is putting too much of a burden on him."

Very often a woman enters into a relationship and dissolves into it. Then it turns out that there is only a man in a woman's life. And only from him can she receive support, love, care, gifts, joy and attention. There is nothing and no one else on the horizon. You broadcast this to a man and it becomes very difficult for him to bear such a burden.

It is important to remember that when you enter a relationship, this does not mean that a man will close all your inner needs and dissatisfaction. It is important to keep a balance here and be able to receive support from other sources - parents, girlfriends, colleagues, teachers. There are many other resources, opportunities and sources in the world for receiving love, support, inspiration, joy.

It is the same with men.

Fourth life hack: A man is not the only source of your support and love and all the needs that are important to you.

The piggy bank has replenished. And the scope of application of the knowledge gained has expanded. We act, study, check and draw conclusions. There will be a new portion of usefulness soon.

5. "A man is not opposed to changing something for the better, but if he is not poked with his nose at the problem, but is given the opportunity to solve it on his own."

Each of us has mistakes and mistakes. But the actions that follow this are very important. There is no need to focus attention and constantly point out what did not work out. Positive feedback is very important. Even if something went wrong. Even if the waiting time for the final result is delayed. Anyway, we find something positive, pronounce it and wait. The man will return to this problem and solve it. Feedback in the form of criticism and negativity should not be allowed. Because then there will be no improvement.

Fifth life hack: Give the man the opportunity to decide everything on his own. And focus on the results that have already happened. Even if they are very minor.

This life hack is relevant not only in relationships, but in all areas of life. If you are a leader, then it is possible to use it in relationships with your employees or subordinates. Or are you a parenting mom. When you focus on bad grades or weaknesses, then the child will not want to improve them. Or a situation may arise from the opposite. The child will give out exactly what you focus his attention on, what shortcomings and shortcomings you notice. Thus, he defends himself through resistance. His focus is shifted and there is no improvement. All energy is spent on psychological protection and resistance.

This ability to notice even insignificant successes must be cultivated first in oneself, and then applied to others.

Continued in the next article. In the meantime, we are working through the information received and applying it in life.

Take the first step towards a meeting of building a happy relationship, go through my author's program in the psychology of men and women, or work out your requests in personal coaching.

With love and care, Olga Salodkaya