Areas Of Satisfaction In Relationships. Part 2: Sex, Finance, Everyday Life

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

In the previous article, I talked in more detail about what I mean by the concepts of spheres in relationships. I considered the "primary" spheres - those that can be "calculated" relatively quickly, from the beginning of the relationship. And here are a number of areas that appear over time.

6. SEX 💕 This is a match of sexual temperament and sexual preference. This area is very important, as it is very difficult to compensate for it.

If a man wants sex 3 times a week, and a woman - 2, then this can be solved. And if 7 vs 1, then it's already problematic.

It is the same with tastes in sex: if the level of aggression of one greatly exceeds the level of aggression of the other, or the sexual interests of one are impracticable for the other, then it is unlikely that sex will be fulfilling for everyone.

This sphere, like no other, has a tendency to REALLY manifest itself in a year. + Because in the beginning, as I wrote in the article "Falling in love or love?", Hormones play a role. And after their decline, everyone will be able to assess how often he / she is suitable to have sex and how exactly with this person. Yes, of course, there are preferences, but the partner / partner will greatly depend on how much you like these and other types of sex, positions, and so on.

7. MATERIAL SPHERE 💰 Nowadays, she is absolutely individual.

More often I know couples, both adults and young people, where both work. And there is the traditional format of the relationship, and there are those where the girl contains a couple (and this couple feels good!).

It is important for you to understand exactly how you want it! Beyond templates and stereotypes "as it should be".

And 90% + that your performances with another person will be different. Maybe not globally, but in the little things. It is important to dare to talk about it, even given the awkwardness of the topic. Actually, this also applies to sex - we cannot guess until we talk. Well, one or two we can, but your fantasies about the other are not a reliable source for recognizing the other.

In this topic, it is also important to consider that there are professions, like expensive wine, that are revealed over time. Therefore, at first there may be one system of material relationships, and then another. Flexibility is also important here: to notice that reality is changing and speak-speak-speak.

8. LIFE 😬

This topic, you see, is not the most romantic one, isn't it? In movies and fairy tales, they do not show conflicts and scandals over everyday trifles. But I am for reality. Life is an inevitable reality for each of us.

It happens that someone can’t stand someone else cutting butter or cutting bread. Unfortunately, this is not a joke.

It is important to understand that you grew up in one family and another person in another. Each of your families had some rules: who, when, how and with what, washes the dishes, who washes, cleans up, how often, who cooks what and how, and so on. Here's a look at how many "who", "what", "how by way" and "how often" in one sentence. Imagine that all of this can become a topic of conflict. Sometimes very serious.

Again, dialogue. Find out how it was in your partner's family, share yourself, negotiate the way it will be in your family. Probably, dialogue is the only way to resolve these issues. Perhaps, like many others.

I am sure that with respect to each other and attention to this topic, partners can commensurately agree on who, how much, how and when.

_

☝️ Important to remember, what there will be no relationship with ideally "filled" all spheres! 🙅

Some research has found that a person can be classified as happy if they are happy more than 60% of their life. I suppose the same pattern can be applied to the satisfaction of the spheres in the relationship: if most of them are satisfied, then this is great (both stresses are suitable)!

Same REMEMBER: what I wrote above about the topic of sex can be extended to many other areas: they are often appear really after a year of dating, because initially we cannot assess ourselves and our partner soberly because of the internal pressure of hormones.

EVENTUALLY I suggest that you choose for yourself the spheres that are important to you, remove those that are insignificant for you, add your own if necessary. You can also prioritize them to better understand yourself. And compare with the priorities of your partner - you will get to know each other better!

At every moment of time and period of life your priorities in the importance of certain areas for you will change (!) - and this is the norm … There will never be this ideal "wheel of life" - I think it is not only unattainable, but also unnecessary. Our life is a constant dynamic. Relationships in a couple - too. What was important and relevant a year ago may be of little value today, and what was insignificant yesterday may acquire great value today. ⠀ As interest / problems arise in any area - try to speak! Perhaps this is main "secret" good relationships without using the "wisdom of women" and "picking men". And if you are unable to talk (all the more so if you did manage to do it before, but now you don’t), then there is always the option of a joint or individual visit to a psychologist. Couples' crises are normal and inevitable, and sometimes good couples risk losing their joint assets (in every sense) by not dealing with one crisis. Therefore, be careful with yourself and each other:) Happy relations to you! 👩‍❤️‍👨

And of course, if you have personal questions right now or you have something to discuss in a couple, but the two of you do not succeed, my psychotherapeutic doors are open for individual and couples consultations.