2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Sometimes you see the relative importance of something, but you are not free from it. You cannot leave this importance at any time - you need to complete, do as you see, so that your picture fits in with reality. And then you feel good. Calm and comfortable.
But you can't sit still if your floors are not cleaned. You cannot brew tea if the stove is dirty. You cannot leave the book until you have finished reading it. You can’t overlook the film you have started, not eat enough supper, under-nibble an apple to a naked stub …
You cannot relax if all the planned cases are not brought to the logical end that you have conceived. The unfinished business is worse for you than the guillotine.
But even when everything that needs to be done, you feel uneasy, you continue to look for something else to occupy yourself with. You are looking for your next activity again. And even if outwardly you are not busy with anything, this search continues inside you - in your head. And this cycle has no end. This state is familiar to most responsible people.
––––
This state has the opposite - when you don't care.
You do not know how to turn on, and do something at least well, not to mention the inner satisfaction with yourself from the completeness of what you are dedicating yourself to. This is simply unfamiliar to you.
Sometimes you have great explanations and excuses ready for everything: "I just don't want to," or "I don't have the strength to do it." And many others.
“I have a lot of health problems”, “I had a very difficult childhood”, “overwhelmingly difficult work”, “children take all my time and energy and I’m not enough for something else”, “I don’t have enough love and affection "," I have a difficult period "," vitamin deficiency "," the fact is that Mars is in Saturn."
Choose any of the suggested ones or add your own unique one. There are at least as many such options, unique in their formulation and in their accents, as there are people living on the planet at the same time right now.
This extreme has its advantages. Here are some of them:
It is easy for you to meet imperfection, dirt, dust, lack of quality and comfort. You always have some sensible explanation ready for everything - and of course you have nothing to do with it. You know how, without batting an eye, transferring the smell from something spilled in your car back in the Cretaceous period, walking in holey socks (after all, no one sees this), not washing clothes for weeks if they smell a little weaker than a skunk. And in principle, you are easily able to get along with any devastation, weakness, powerlessness.
Not being able to stop in time from one's own charge of quality, completeness, comfort and satisfaction is lack of freedom. Not being able to complete, complete, work well - the same lack of freedom.
In the first case, life will be deprived of peace.
In the second, she is completely devoid of satisfaction
In order for things to be done, work to work, and at the same time you do not lose freedom, you need to germinate and see in this the depth of necessity, which has a basis in reality - to see why not only you, but all life really need a clean slab and clean floors. Any superficial understanding and explanation will not work here. A breakthrough is needed, a drop of the irrational must seep into your gut.
Real work should always be a little crazy in its pursuit of perfection, but this craziness must be saturated with deep understanding, deep clarity. Real labor cannot be ritual, it must not be automatic. Otherwise your work will be neurotic. And you will rob yourself of this depth of peace.
Peace is open to those who do not know how to work and did not care about the quality and work in their lives. But in this case it will be cheap peace, weak. Such peace will not have your foundation. This peace will not be saturated with you - with what you are. Rather, it will be saturated with the fact that you have not turned on - you are still not there.
As a result, both extremes should be present in your life at the same time:
• Work on the verge of self-forgetfulness, on the verge of insanity, madness, work in which there is what you have discovered, your own deep understanding - you are able to see why it is important for you to be so, to be involved, to do things this way and why it is important for the whole life.
• And you should be able at any moment, at the same second, to leave your enthusiasm alone. You remain able to totally relax at any moment, and not only when everything became as you planned or drew for yourself.
You remain capable of losing, letting go and dissolving all meanings, goals and aspirations at any moment and right now.
Only then is your initiation total and carried away, but not preoccupied, it is devoid of neurosis.
Then peace exists simultaneously with the bubbling energy of life. And at any moment, some of this is active, and something is passive. Something is potential, but something is kinetic. Some of this is embodied, and something is hidden.
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Tokarsky Anatoly, VKontakte group "Feel yourself".
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