2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Sexuality plays a big role in our life.
It influences our decisions and choices of partners, our condition and well-being. Sexuality is associated with our vital energy, it both helps a person to reveal his potential, and poisons him with all kinds of desires, impulses that a person cannot influence.
Through sexuality, some kind of suffering can be triggered: “I’m not sexy”, “but besides sex, is there something interesting?” not correct, since nobody is interested "," why if I am sexy, then they always use me "," I will endure, but I will be like everyone else, in a pair "and much more.
Does it make sense to carry this suffering within yourself for years? It often arises from a lack of knowledge about oneself. About how exactly “I” is arranged and how the process of the formation of sexuality took place in me.
For 11 years of private and clinical practice, I have seen many men and women experiencing fear, disgust and shame for themselves, for their desires and impulses.
In their head, there was still a “mother’s voice” constantly tugging at them, and their own picture of the world was never rebuilt. They continued to see themselves through “mother's eyes” - ugly, stupid, slovenly, dishonoring everyone, but no one would love this. All this triggered suffering that really broke the fate of a person and happiness in relationships, including with oneself.
The fear of being disappointed in oneself, touching one's pain, learning a certain truth about oneself was so powerful that a person fell into a funnel and no longer had the strength to get out of it.
But in fact, there was nothing IRREVERSIBLE! The solution was always there! They just had to take advantage!
Step 1. It's important to start exploring your pain about sexuality, femininity, or masculinity.
Step 2. Start exploring yourself, your personal life experience, what it gave you, what it led to. Your fears, repressed desires.
Step 3. Start working with your inhibitions and shame, make them visible and conscious. Understand how they affect you, your decisions and choices. Investigate the root cause of the formation of these prohibitions and how shame was originated.
Step 4. Get out of my mother's picture of the world about yourself and begin to form your own idea of your personality, how your sexuality, femininity or masculinity was formed.
Step 5. Give up suffering as a way to attract attention, pity and compassion, learn to rely on yourself, your resources and your sexual energy.
Sexuality has its own stages of development and manifestation. If there is a failure somewhere, it immediately affects the fate of a person. They laughed at a girl or a boy for being untidy or careless - and an adult carries a shame in himself in front of close relationships all his life. They made fun of a girl or boy for their full legs or tummy - and all his life a person lives in fear of showing his body or simply dressing attractively.
All this can torment us for decades, holding us captive to fears and expectations of disappointment. There is a risk of getting sick not only with psychosomatics, but also mentally. Because the joy of life is leaving and a strict ban is placed on it.
Sexuality is an area where small events have big consequences.
What is broken in contact with their sexuality is perceived by many as a “sentence”, to be afraid to think and talk about it, to ask for help for themselves. Shame and guilt accompany for years, exorbitant expectations from relationships exacerbate suffering, and a person really misses the chance for peace in his soul, for a feeling of happiness, for joy.
There is a solution! And it's simple!
Sexuality is, first of all, an exploration of oneself! But not bodies! As many people think. And my soul !!! What we are filled with inside is manifested through our actions and choices, through shame or guilt.
When we take knowledge, our life changes, because the process of healing through awareness is triggered.
New knowledge is the best investment in contact with yourself and in peace with your soul!
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