2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
An inexhaustible theme of fathers and children, mothers and daughters. This time we will focus on informal culture among adolescents. Small replica … I am an informal woman. I remember very well the time when in the 1990s we tore our jeans, painted our nails with black varnish, conducted atmospheric conversations with a guitar in the style of "Unplugged".. A significant part of my friends are convinced teetotalers, carriers of eco-friendly ideas and knowledge about human spiritual development, its capabilities and prospects. Mom is at the consultation. I recognize her as my age, but I understand that something went wrong somewhere. Complaints about the daughter. "My daughter is an informal girl! Do you understand this? This is horror!". Well, yes, how can you not imagine this? 16-year-old girl, teenager. Listens to rock, watches complex films, writes poetry, is sad about her lover, tries to match some image (I don't know the girl, but her mother showed her photos and … brought the Diary. No, fortunately, not related to suicide … The usual girlish.) Considering that some guys at her age overload themselves with different approaches to their individuality (numerous tattoos, tunnels, ubiquitous piercings …), this girl has nothing to do with them. Ears are in order, no tattoos, no tunnels. What bothered mom so much? A monstrous, blatant invasion of the child's personal space! Without the girl's permission to read intimate, secret thoughts hidden from everyone. And you know, if now someone Something will say that my mother is doing this "from the brightest" motives, I will not believe. These motives are stated as follows: “Well, I have to control my daughter. I'm a mother! I want her to become ordinary a normal person! I want her to be the same as she was in the fifth grade - obedient, helpful … . Give me back my daughter! " When the girl's diary was shown to me, I refused to read it. "If you want, I will talk to your daughter. And I will read the diary only with her permission …".
- She has everything! What else does she want? - asks a woman who does not understand either the girl's vulnerable soul, or her romantic mood. Look, she writes that "mom is angry, mom swears." I'm down there really a demon, and she means an angel? And these verses are stupid! No rhyme, no meaning! "Why does your daughter expound such thoughts? Can you guess?" "Fool because! Minor!", - the mother answers briefly. And then follows the "horror" from the girl's VKontakte page. This is the music! These posts are stupid! (about people, about faith, about sincerity, philosophical thoughts …) Are there any other options? Also, how the mother wants to turn her daughter into an obedient robot, fulfilling all her instructions … There is no other. I have never heard a warm word or tenderness addressed to my daughter. "She is so, so …". And then - a dead end, the same social catastrophe, when mothers find themselves abandoned in nursing homes, when there is not the slightest desire to communicate with them from their daughters, whom they so fiercely … tried to remake. Awareness of motherhood is a very complex process. It would seem that here is your child, your happiness, but this awareness in not quite mature, selfish individuals prioritizes convex, distorted features.
I want her to be the same
What is it like? In fact, forcibly hindering its development, growth? "I don't want you to listen to THIS music!" (Arctic Monkeys, Disturbed, etc.), I don't want to read THESE books (the girl reads F. Kafka, U. Eko (!!!) at 16 (!!!). "This is all the bad influence of the company! “By limiting herself in the intellectual sphere, a woman cuts off the oxygen of her daughter’s self and tries to find“those who are to blame”in the child’s personal development. There is also no understanding that the daughter is a talented, bright, creative person … Yes, she doesn’t look like a mother, she doesn’t look like many members of our society. And it is this dissimilarity that irritates the mother. But after all, it is already the 21st century … I sincerely believed that informal culture occupies a worthy niche in our society and everyone is free to bring the light of his soul into this world, filling it with his innermost meaning … But not the query was asked quite correctly, which in fact does not have a general "informal" line … It's still about how difficult it is to accept another person as he is, this is about disbelief in the uniqueness of his own daughter, that children, thanks to such a sharp positions of parents, lose closeness with home och an agom in which there is no warmth …
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