2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Sometimes life really throws us tasks that, at first glance, seem too easy, and then turn out to be such that it is practically impossible to solve. Sometimes it seems to us that our strength and resources are not enough, and it is not even worth trying. In such cases, we may feel disappointed, lack of energy, lack of internal resources. And as a defense mechanism, a feeling can arise that you don't want anything, all dreams fade, and desires fade away …
As an example, I'll tell you a story about a girl whom I met recently on some forum for night owls. We talked to her until four in the morning. And it was like talking on a train. In the morning we left the forum space and each went our separate ways. But for several weeks now this story has been echoing for me with its sadness and a sense of hopelessness …
At the age of 25, she moved with Napoleonic plans to another big city to build her amazing life. She wanted to become a famous photographer and open her own studio. She knew how to see the world in a special way and had an unusual talent to convey the beauty of this world through the lens of her camera.
None of her relatives supported her, but it didn't matter to her, because she understood very well what she needed and what she wanted from life. She moved to a new location. With passion and energy that could be envied, I began to equip my life, look for work, because I understood that I needed to live on something here and now, and at the same time I learned the beauty of the big city and its inhabitants through my magic tool.
At first, she really liked everything, her dreams fueled her desire to achieve her goals. This went on for several months. She worked hard because the life of her dreams, which she aspired to, turned out to be very expensive. That was only the apartment she rented. But she believed that these were temporary difficulties and the main thing was to keep the focus on her dream.
Health problems started unexpectedly. One morning she simply could not get out of bed and did not go out to the robot. That day it was so hard for her that she could hardly even make herself breakfast. Taking all her will into a fist, the next day, she came to the office where she worked, but the feeling of depression did not go away. Now, when she came to her cozy apartment, instead of resting and gaining the strength that she needed to go towards her dream, she felt lonely and deeply disappointed in life.
Then more and more often began to repeat the days in which she could not find the strength to get out of bed.
She suddenly realized that she hadn’t taken a camera in her hands for two months and that the worst thing for her was that she didn’t want to take pictures anymore.
At the consultations, where she came already with thoughts of suicide, she talked about herself as a little gray mouse who overestimated her talent and chased unrealistic dreams … It said that now the world for her is not so colorful, but rather dull and ugly, and that she does not understand at all how she could once have seen something else, and came to the conclusion that for many years she lived in illusions about a beautiful world. And the idea of showing his beauty with her photographs to others now seemed to her funny and sad at the same time. The job, to which she agreed at first, as a temporary solution to her financial problems, now became the main one, in which she put a lot of effort, and put money only on the most necessary. She confessed that she really didn’t want anything, that she no longer dreamed of her studio, and in general it would be better if she were not there at all …
I would like to write now that everything will be fine with her, but I do not know what will happen to her next.
I was very sad at the moments when she talked about how she even thought to sell her camera, because it pains her to look at him and understand that her dreams are not destined to come true …
All I could do for her was to listen and strongly recommend not to quit psychotherapy … And wish her good luck!
Because it is really sad when, as Elena Tararina said, we hand over our dreams to an orphanage …
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