2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
The client, a young attractive girl, came for a consultation with a problem of depression. Life was going well, lately she was crying all the time, and the first two hours of work were completely "wet" …
The client, a young attractive girl, came for a consultation with a problem of depression. Life was going well, lately she was crying all the time, and the first two hours of work were completely "wet" …
Approaching the real problem of therapy, there was such an episode, I will tell you about it in the form of a dialogue.
Me: - Lena (name has been changed), imagine a small child in your arms, this is your inner child, this is the most childish part of you …
Client: - He is somehow black … and nasty, fuuu …
Me: - Why is he black, is he a negro?
Client: - No, he is dirty … He is wrapped in some kind of rags, he is all wrapped in them …
Me: - Lena, unfold him, look at him, what else do you see how he feels?
Client: - OH !!! He has worms on his head …
Client: - No, it won't help, I think he's dead …
Me: - Lena, let's see and think about what we can do with you now..
Client: - Oh, no, he's not dead, his leg is warm …
Me: - Okay, Lena, great, what do you want to do now?
Client: - Wash him, swaddle him warm and clean, hug him. Although, I still do not like him, he is ugly …
Me: - Well, Lena, tell him that he is even ugly, the best, that you regret that you did not love him earlier, that you will begin to learn to love him.
The client repeated everything, the tears, fear and horror that accompanied this scene passed. Slow recovery of a person who survived an early trauma began.
Lena began to gradually and slowly learn to love herself, the place of auto-aggression gave way to an adequate attitude towards herself and her needs.
Indeed, in the case when a child received an early trauma from his parents, it is difficult for him to endure the feeling of hatred towards his beloved parent, therefore he "identifies with the" good "parent, and through the process that Sandor Ferenczi (1933) called" identification with the aggressor ", the child accepts parent's aggression into their inner world and begins to hate himself and his needs."
This process is observed in all victims who received early trauma from loved ones. Autoaggression manifests itself in different versions, and these people look different, but self-destructive processes, whether in the form of somatic diseases, depression, self-injurious behavior, are observed in everyone.
And working with the "inner child" helps not only to heal, but also to diagnose such injuries.
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