2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Let's talk about sex. A little)
There are only three main types of sex.
Sex # 1. Safe. When the purpose of sex is just sex. It is needed in order to relieve the stress that has accumulated over the course of a day or over a lifetime (no). Or, through sex, prove to yourself your own coolness and skill. Why is sex like this safe? Because there is no need to open up, trust, and therefore be vulnerable. Or it’s just unsafe with your partner for some reason. Therefore, you will focus not on what you feel, but on how you look and on the technique of performance. And what your partner feels and you are next to him in this moment is the tenth thing.
As a one-time action to relieve tension, such sex is a wonderful mechanism. Well, we saw the results of the exit polls, got upset, decided to re-glue the wallpaper in our hearts, and there he was in the epicenter. And it was relieved, and you can already look at the second round with greater calmness. But in a relationship, such "substantive" sex will be more toxic. Because the partner will feel like an “object” that is simply being used.
If you have had a string of betrayals in the past, such "impersonal" relationships will be perceived as safer, knowingly or not. One-time sex is more whole than emotion.
Sex # 2. Comforting. When you really need to feel needed and desired here and now. The most important thing here is to get rid of fears and loneliness, and sex is just a means, albeit a pleasant one. Emotional involvement will still be greater than in number 1, but the leading emotion here is still (surprise) - anxiety. Thus, the more you are afraid of becoming dependent on another person, the more attention will be given to all sorts of hugs and foreplay and less - to the sex itself. If sex is an excuse to get rid of anxiety, there will be less option for real sensuality. Comfortable sex can make a relationship for a while, even with a touch of stability. Or maybe vice versa - rub up to bloody calluses in the shower. If this kind of comforting sex enters the relationship on a permanent basis and remains the norm, it can easily start to give all the best or demand a lot, which, in the end, will tire both of them. When sex and foreplay are just a pill for fears, distancing is inevitable.
Sex # 3. Real. Here, everything merges together, forming the perfect combination of emotional openness, gentle touch and excitement itself. Such sex can not only bring relaxation and emotional satisfaction, but also create real intimacy.
Because having sex and not talking frankly about your feelings and desires on an ongoing basis is like trying to cook zarzuela without knowing what ingredients are required.
Sex is a game in which there is a place for passion, experimentation, spontaneity, a willingness to trust and the unknown. In a safe and secure relationship, he is always associated with maximum openness (and therefore potentially vulnerability) and constant emotional closeness. Therefore, for sex to bring multi-layered satisfaction, not bored, be sensual, no special techniques, poses and landscapes are needed on an ongoing basis. You need to stay close and not be afraid of your own vulnerability. This is intimacy. And this is a story completely different in duration and quality)
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