Sexuality Is Healthy And Unhealthy

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

In people with mental disabilities, sexuality is very different from that of a healthy person. If a healthy person perceives his sexuality as an integral part of building relationships with another, where the personal boundaries of both are built, where the interests and needs of both are taken into account without offense, where both are free to deny each other and give sincerely to each other in sex without manipulation, then a mentally disturbed person experiences sexuality through the partner's perception only from the point of view of their needs: the partner's body for him is like a mother's breast, from which delicious food flows, bringing satisfaction and comfort. In sex, he is not interested in your "no" and "I do not want", he manipulates and demands from you sex "give me" and "give when I want", like a child demands food from his mother.

In this sense, sooner or later there is a feeling that it is not an adult next to you, but a small child, always hungry and insatiable, and he perceives your body only as an instrument for his own gratification. There are no boundaries here, but only hunger and demands, use and thirst for possession of one another. At first it may look like passion, but then it becomes clear that the person is obsessed with sex, obsessed with it.

People talk about a difference in temperament, but the point here is that one of the partners is likely to have a serious childhood injury at an early age. Psychoanalysts talk about the oral personality. This is a small child, greedily looking for a mother's nipple, afraid of losing her mother, insatiable, eternally hungry. He experiences an intrapsychic emptiness, into which he tries to throw pleasures in the form of food, sex, alcohol, drugs, etc.

It is unrealistically difficult to come to an agreement with such a partner, just as it is difficult to persuade a deadly hungry child to endure, since he hears nothing besides his sexual hunger. He perceives any refusal to have sex as rejection and dislike, refusal to provide him with your body for use can be interpreted by him as danger and hostility, as a mother's refusal to feed the child, he perceives it as a threat of death.

All this oral conflict is not recognized by the individual and can cause a lot of pain for her and her partners. The partners of such people very often have to go against themselves, sacrifice themselves, like a mother sacrifices herself to a baby, so as not to lose relationships, because the value of relationships in modern society is much higher than the value of the true "I", personality, freedom and human dignity …

Have you been in such a relationship?