Quality Relationship, What Is This About?

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

When you ask people in consultation what kind of relationship you want to have, the answers are quite similar. After all, it is really important for people that their relationship is of high quality. And the characteristics of this quality, naturally, are sincerity, love, respect, understanding. That is, such a completely predictable set. People want to be comfortable in a relationship, this is a completely natural desire.

However, this creates a contradiction. Often people do not think about the fact that, wanting to get a relationship of this quality, they themselves will have to behave with a person in this way. In other words, be sincere, loving, understanding, respectful. Moreover, it is essential to do this all the time, since another desirable characteristic is durability.

Try to honestly answer yourself the question, "What kind of relationship do I want?" And then another question, "How am I going to bring this into the relationship?" Often people think that they will receive bonuses (pleasure) from the relationship just like that. Without investing in them or making minimal contributions.

Imagine, together with your man or woman, you decide to make a fire so that it is warm and light. But someone brings and puts firewood, and the other does not. It is unlikely that such a fire will be durable and will be able to warm two people. One just gets tired of putting firewood and going after them.

There is another option that is quite common. This is when one puts dry, suitable firewood (in his opinion), and the other damp or rotten. There will be little heat from such a fire, but there is enough smoke from which the eyes are watery.

Often we have the illusion that our idea of the manifestation of a certain feeling or desire should be understood by another by default. This position is found in both women and men. Believing in this illusion, we naturally do nothing to find out what the other thinks about it. After all, an illusion gives rise to the belief "He / she should / should do just that."

And then we get very upset when the one who is nearby brings and puts raw firewood into our joint fire. Of course, there are some general ideas about the manifestation of some feelings and the reasons for this, but at the same time, there are a lot, in each of us, small details to which we emotionally respond.

These are the kind of points of our pleasure or displeasure. If he or she gets to such a point, then we are very good or bad. And you can hit or not hit only when you know exactly where such a point is.

Here, exactly, these points are very desirable to know, but for this you need to be able to trust each other and just talk. This is much more useful than trying to remake someone else for yourself, which is, in principle, impossible.

There is one more recommendation for those who want a really high-quality relationship, but here you need courage and honesty. You can tell (not demand) another about how you see your relationship, what you want (can) give yourself and what you expect from him, at the very beginning. After all, it is better to negotiate on the shore than not in the stormy sea.

Live with joy!

Anton Chernykh.