2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Every day we all make certain choices and they all influence something, direct somewhere. Even such a trivial situation as the choice of food for dinner can affect, for example, mood. Either it will be something tasty and, as most often happens, harmful, but it will bring pleasure, or the emphasis will be placed more on benefits, although in the second case, the pleasure from food can be compensated by pride in your steadfast position and self-care. Despite such a simple example, which for most people does not cause any problems in life, even in it one can trace such differentiation of choice as: conscious and unconscious, if you ask a question about the supposed benefits and harms of each of the decisions. Moreover, the benefit may lie not only in strict adherence to a healthy diet, but also in allowing yourself to occasionally indulge in harmfulness.
Well, if we seriously talk about a choice as something significant for a person, then a conscious choice is a deliberate, meaningful action, an understanding of its potential consequences. It is based on an internal analysis of what it is done for and at what cost, because choosing one, we refuse another, alternative. And it is this fact that very often leads to a "stupor", fear of making a "wrong" decision, fear of feeling the consequences and being responsible for possible "wrong". In such a situation, unfortunately, many people choose not to choose. By the principle of "go with the flow", and "time will tell". Why "Unfortunately? Yes, because in fact, refusal to make decisions is also a choice, the only difference is that, by choosing on our own, we express our will, control some circumstances of our life, and do not submissively obey them, worrying and fearing how everything will work out by itself, if at all.
But sometimes it also happens that a person experiences great stress when faced with some important choice in his life, which in fact is not there.
For example, a desperate girl comes and with a confused look asks: "What is more correct to stay married or divorce if I feel very bad"? Everything seems to be simple - yes or no, to part or keep the family.
When asked what she would like to see her relationship, what the family looks like in her understanding, a sadness flickers in her eyes, but a smile appears on her face and she talks about calmness, reliability, mutual understanding, respect, the ability to admire each other and support …
Is it really difficult to choose between such a strong family and separation - I asked and received the answer that her choice is completely different: endure humiliation, feel unnecessary and completely obey her husband's oppressive rules or leave him. After a short pause, she herself was surprised at her own conclusion “yes, it’s really not about divorce or keeping a family, but about feeling insignificant or not…” And it was much easier for her to choose between such alternatives, not to say more.
And, after all, it is really difficult to make the decision to lose your dreams, and this was the difficulty. In my head, on one bowl, there was a family, not real, but a desired one, and on the other, its loss.
The most inspiring thing in this story was that, having figured out herself, allowing herself to be free and becoming self-worth, accepting the fact that there was nothing to lose and saying goodbye to this, some time later she created the family that she spoke about with a sad smile and with the person who treated her "new" with the admiration that he had not experienced for her "old" for many years in a row.
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