2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
I had this article unfinished. I began to write it even before the tragedy in Kerch, and now, when I reopened it with the aim of finally completing it, I realized that after what happened it is much more difficult. Now we understand that the result of school conflicts can be not only academic failure, manifestations of school neurosis or distress, but they can lead to a similar tragedy. And in order to prevent not only the personality disorders of schoolchildren, but also such terrible consequences, not new metal detectors are needed (after all, there were watchmen and turnstiles in that college - Roslyakov just entered through an emergency exit) and not new Russian guards who do not care you can't put on every student, but a person who could talk to a child in a crisis situation, to whom he could entrust his problems and with whom he could look for a solution to these problems.
Now about school conflicts.
One way or another, all school problems are interpersonal problems: the student's relationship with peers, teachers (and each teacher individually), the problem of academic failure is also largely formed due to poor communication, primarily with teachers. About the influence of parents on the formation of school neurosis is a special conversation, it is clear that it exists and is very strong.
Analyzing school conflicts, learning to cope and resolve these conflicts, the student will then transfer this skill to life. And this experience will be very useful to him later. It is possible and necessary to help the child cope with these difficulties so that the experience of conflict resolution becomes successful and positive for him. He didn’t traumatize for life, didn’t force him to withdraw, to give up active attempts to cope with difficulties, but, on the contrary, taught him how to act effectively, to maintain stability in difficult life situations.
Now we are not talking about the situation of bullying - school bullying, when several other students or the whole class are united against one student. This is a different story, here you do not need to look for the causes of the problem in the child himself. A child in this situation is a victim and what needs to be done is to get him out of this situation, and to solve the problem with the class. Bullying is a collective problem, here you need a systemic solution involving the parents of those students who bully the child, themselves, teachers, etc.
Now we are talking about those conflicts that arise between two people: a student and a teacher or two students. This is where learning how conflicts need to be resolved will help. Once again, the ability to resolve conflicts is not innate, it needs to be learned. It is good if the child tells his parents about the difficulties that arise, and they (they themselves are competent in this regard, who know how to effectively cope with interpersonal conflicts) explain to him what to do in such a situation, help him get through the emerging emotions and can help to consolidate a positive experience if the child succeeds resolve the conflict. This experience will be very useful to him in adulthood.
The way to get rid of school neurosis is precisely in this, the resolution of school conflicts and teaching the child to find ways of such a resolution. A competent, professional teacher, most likely, simply will not allow such a conflict to arise between himself and the student. And it will help resolve the conflict between students, showing ways to resolve it.
Of course, the teacher is not always able to do this - both because of his workload, and for a number of other reasons. What can he do in order to help his students, and himself (himself - because the situation of conflict, negative emotional background is difficult for the teacher, exhausting him and contributing to emotional burnout)? Learn - how to do it, study the basics of conflict management, increase your emotional competence. Now there is literature for this, and numerous courses and trainings.
The same advice can be given to parents. Learn to competently and effectively cope with conflicts - both in the family and at work. This is a very useful and necessary skill that you yourself need and which you can teach your child. Which, in turn, will help your child prevent such conflicts at school and will be useful in his life after school. And also, to prevent the onset of school neurosis in a child, which often appears as a result of the inability and inability to resolve school conflicts.
Read also my articles:
About school neurosis
School anxiety
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