2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
So, most often it happens with my clients, and my fellow psychologists, including me, are rarely an exception!
And if there are such exceptions, they only confirm the rule! Yesterday I received an extraordinary response from Nadezhda Arkhangelskaya's article.
Mom, daughter and Winter
Mom is the most important character in our life, whether we like it or not!
I usually distinguish two areas of work
- The client is not separated (not separated) from the mother and considers her words to be the truth in the highest instance.
- The client blames mom for all the failures in his life.
How to work with it?
In the first case - disconnect the client's personality from the "mother's umbilical cord", or initiate adulthood. Doesn't matter how old the client is - 20 or 55?
In the second case - show that he (a) has common features with his mother that he does not want to accept in himself.
Read more about this phenomenon in the publications:
What annoys us in people reflects in itself! An exercise
Tell me who pisses you off and I'll tell you who you are?
Phototherapy works well at the initial stage of diagnosis
- I ask the client to send it, if we work on Skype, or bring your own photo and a photo of your mother to the office.
- I create plates, as in the picture, which I lay out on the table or upload to an online application.
- I ask the client to answer questions, approximately, such as in the picture, although they can be changed, depending on the situation.
If you can't see well in my screenshot, I will give an example of possible questions, adding additional ones to them:
- What do we have in common with my mother in appearance?
- How do we differ externally?
- What do Mom and I have in common about patterns (repetitive behavior)?
- How are we different (behaving differently)?
- What prevents me from getting closer to my mother?
- What is the reason for my childhood affection for my mother?
- Why do I still live with my mother, although I am … years old?
- What is the advantage of my position?
- What prevents me from being independent?
- What should I do to improve my relationship with my mom?
- What will help me do this?
- What will be my concrete step towards mom?
Recommended:
HOW TO ACCEPT THE GROWING Daughter. 7 MAIN ACTIONS FOR MOM
“Hello, I have a problem, if you can advise, I will be grateful to you. My 13-year-old daughter was abandoned yesterday by a boy, a 15-year-old boy, we live in Kiev, and he is in the village. Meetings were rare, communicated mainly by phone or Vkontakte, where yesterday he wrote to her about the breakup.
If It Is Unbearable To Communicate With Mom. Part 2. Why Doesn't Mom Love Me?
When I talk to people who are sure that their mother does not like them, I ask why they decided that. In response I hear: She swears at me all the time, she is not happy with me. She constantly complains about me to relatives. You won't hear a kind word from her.
If It Is Unbearable To Communicate With Mom. Part 1. Mom Knows Best
- Anya, go home! - Mom, am I cold? - No, you want to eat. When a mother actively intervenes in the life of an adult son or daughter , this is a sign that the psychological boundaries of a mother and an adult child are blurred . Mom believes that an adult son or daughter still belongs to her, that she is responsible for his life and well-being.
Mom's Friend's Daughter: Sad Consequences
“My mother loves me in a very peculiar way. For as long as I can remember, she constantly criticizes me and compares me to someone. I have long been an adult, independent woman, successful, accomplished. A wonderful husband, children. But for some reason there is no happiness.
22 REASONS AND 22 METHODS OF USING PHOTOTHERAPY IN THE WORK OF A PSYCHOLOGIST
1. The use of pictures is a prerequisite for getting to know the client's inner world . * Technique 1 "Find a picture of your inner world, tell about it and about yourself" 2. Pictures show and tell with the help of metaphorical images the story of the client's motives and desires.
