Am I The Most Beautiful In This World?

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Author: Ekaterina Sigitova Tell a woman a million times that she is beautiful and she will never believe it. Tell her once that she is ugly and she will never forget it

Why are we women always unhappy with our appearance? "Love yourself!" - the TV suggests. "Neither extra pounds, nor a nose with potatoes interfere with personal happiness!" - glossy magazines echo. They are there, on TV, well, - the fairy got out of bed in the morning, smiled, and went to decorate the world. And when you have bags under your eyes and twenty extra pounds, it is difficult to love yourself. Especially in the morning.

PSYCHOLOGICAL CAUSES

Where does this discontent come from? And are there people who like everything about themselves? Statistics say no: 100% of people are dissatisfied with at least one detail in their appearance, and 30-40% develop a real inferiority complex because of this. The medical term "dysmorphomania", meaning an obsessive desire to improve one's appearance (for example, plastic surgery and weight loss up to anorexia) has firmly entered our active vocabulary.

Let's try to make a list of "pebbles" in the garden of our experiences on this topic. Sometimes these are just boulders - real psychological trauma. Mothers and grandmothers of the Soviet school, afraid to overpraise or bring up a "skittish", with their comments "do not worry, not in the face of happiness", or "who will marry with such legs." Friends and acquaintances who consider it necessary to say "but you are a good person." The standards of beauty imposed by the media and advertising, from which we, of course, are far. Personal beliefs about a part of the body that “leaves much to be desired” (most often skin, hair and nose). Bad mood. Accidentally caught reflection in the mirror. But you never know them?

The important thing is that it all works differently for different women. Someone all their life is unshakably confident in their unearthly beauty, and someone just one sidelong glance is enough to fall into depression. And the most amazing thing is that this personality trait has nothing to do with the real appearance and the amount of attention from the opposite sex.

HOW TO RECOGNIZE THE DISORDER

Where is the line between norm and neurosis here? Some women live well with imperfect appearance, while others suffer from the desire to change themselves. Worries about appearance often occur in adolescents: moreover, they arise in connection with absolutely real shortcomings (short stature, crooked legs, a crooked nose, etc.). An important difference is that normal emotions never reach such proportions as in neurosis, do not determine all human behavior, and after some time they disappear without a trace.

How do you know if you need to go to a psychologist with this problem? It might be high time if you:

- are convinced that there are flaws in your appearance that can be called deformities; - constantly look in the mirrors, trying to turn to them with the “advantageous” part or find a new perspective in which the shortcomings will not be visible; - refuse to be photographed, because you think that you are getting awful in the pictures, and when you still cannot dodge the camera, make grimaces; - strenuously hide imperfections with clothes, hairstyle and makeup, or try to divert attention from them with bright artsy accessories; - often involuntarily touch your “defect”, as if feeling it; - think that defects in appearance affect your whole life: success in work, communication, relationships with other people; - you feel uncomfortable among people, it seems that everyone notices your shortcomings and considers you; - look everywhere, where possible, information about the "defect" and ways to deal with it or disguise it; - you see dreams in which you do not have these shortcomings; - have done or are going to do more than two plastic surgeries.

WE WILL BE TREATED?

The main method of dealing with this, alas, a common condition is psychotherapy. The problem may not be resolved quickly and may require several months or even a year of consultation. In the process of therapy, a person is not discouraged about his own characteristics, but he gets to know himself better, learns to love and accept himself. Cognitive behavioral models and gestalt therapy work well.

Cosmetic surgeries are strongly discouraged as they do not improve a person's condition. The reason is that they do not eliminate the source of dysmorphomania, which is in the personality itself. Moreover, after surgery, the condition may worsen.

Antidepressants are the gold standard of modern Western models of treatment for dysmorphomania. It is not necessary for this to go to the clinic and even go on sick leave, treatment is available in everyday life, and drugs can be bought with a prescription from an outpatient doctor. In periods of strong emotional stress and anxiety, tranquilizers are prescribed in addition to a small course.

USEFUL TIPS

This all sounds pretty sad, and individual habits and thoughts may seem overwhelming to you. But even if it is impossible to go to a specialist for some reason, there are simple tips and rules that will help you not only take a fresh look at this problem, but also really start to love yourself.

1. Don't discount yourself all because of looks. The way you look is only a part of you as a person. There are other parts as well - mind, character, plasticity of movements, age and social status, etc. Make a list of all, all, get to know yourself better:

- I am a mother (wife, daughter, sister, granddaughter, friend) - I am a professional (pharmacy worker, accountant, manager) - I am a woman (I am 35 years old, my height is 165 cm, and my weight is 60 kg) - I - a person (I walk on two legs, I can read and write, I have intelligence). - I - …?

2. Allow yourself to experience small losses - yes, you will never have almond-shaped eyes, legs from the ears and a height of 180 cm, this is impossible. Very sorry. Relive this sadness for the unfulfilled, accept the loss of hope, and close this question once and for all. Freedom will follow the loss.

3. Take care of yourself in those situations in which it is possible. Be yourself an affectionate friend, not a ruthless critic: the world is already too cruel to us.

- Delicious food (more often eat what you want and like the taste); - Pleasure (reading interesting books, swimming, massage, walking); - Rest (at least half an hour of free time per day) - Safety (if possible, avoid situations in which you will be uncomfortable or unpleasant).

4. Avoid comparing yourself to others and evaluating. Try to switch to descriptions and move away from the scales of “better-worse”, “beautiful-ugly”. Remember, at school we kept a diary of observations of the weather and wrote only dry facts there? More or less like this!

5. Get rid of the desire to object to any assessments of other people. - both negative and positive. This way of conducting a conversation is close to the psychological defense called "compensation". It means that no one’s opinion about your person suits you, you always need to supplement it and correct the interlocutor. Let people say what they think, and don't take that as a reference point for yourself. Otherwise, an ugly grotesque may turn out:

- Masha, how beautiful you are in this new jacket! - Oh, actually, the jacket is not very good, I bought it in the Chinese market for 300 rubles. I thought, although it sits badly, and the color is not mine, but it will go to work.

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Appearance is what is given to us for life. You don't have to spend it to “jump” to supermodels. Instead, you can gradually learn to focus on yourself, enjoy your body, and accept. After all, internally harmonious and happy people glow from within and become truly beautiful. And then those who compliment us finally hear in response simply “Thank you!”.