We Become Like The People With Whom We Communicate

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

“We become like the people we communicate with” Robert De Niro

The theory that society and the environment shape a person is a controversial issue for many. Some believe that everything that is in a person, let’s say his genius or mediocrity, is inherent in him since childhood. Others think that the environment "fills" a person, and he is not able to become better if there are no conditions for this.

The environment in which we find ourselves really has a huge impact on our development, the formation of our priorities, values, goals, views on our life and on all areas of our activity. But, as a rule, we underestimate the influence of the environment: we continue to communicate with unpleasant people, attend uninteresting events, listen to complaints from colleagues, endure the nervousness and irritation of loved ones, without thinking at all about what harm all this can bring.

Often we communicate, simply because it is "necessary" or because we feel attachment, or because we do not know how to build personal boundaries and cannot say "no." But if we just change the environment a little, refuse to communicate with those who drag us down, how much will change - both we ourselves and the world around us.

The pickle rule

There is a golden rule that goes something like this: "a person's income is equal to the average income of people from his inner circle." Likewise, the level of his success depends on the environment. If he is surrounded by successful people, he will strive to match them. If there are many losers, whiners, critics among his acquaintances, gradually he will become the same.

Man is a social being, and we subconsciously try to match the environment, because we are afraid of becoming outcasts

Once in the company, where they are looking for those to blame for their failures, they discuss how bad everything is around, we join the conversation anyway. At the beginning we will try to argue with the others, we will fight for a different point of view. But over time, we will stop resisting, simply because it is difficult to resist the majority. And if we stay in such an environment for a long time, it is possible that we will begin to share his opinion. This is how the theory of the influence of the environment on a person works.

The well-known teacher VF Shatalov introduced the concept of "the principle of pickled cucumber" if a fresh cucumber is immersed in a jar of pickled cucumbers and brine, it will surely be salted. So a person immersed in a certain environment with its own views, ideas, attitude to life, sooner or later will be imbued with these views. This is neither bad nor good. These are the natural laws of nature. And we can use them to our advantage.

Human environment and development

Views on life are laid in the consciousness of a person as early as childhood. In the process of personality formation, upbringing, environment and genetics play central roles. They help the development of human and social skills, but how much these skills develop depends also on the inner core of a person.

While the child does not know how to resist the beliefs of the environment, adults, through their own example, views and simple conversations, can explain what is good and what is bad, teach the child to set goals for himself, talk about how important it is with what kind of people you surround yourself.

Moving or standing

No matter how we strive to be independent and whole, but close people, due to various circumstances, still exert a certain force on us. It quite strongly influences our views and way of thinking. Although it sometimes does not affect, it all depends on ourselves - on our level of awareness, on the strength of our beliefs and, of course, on self-esteem.

Indeed, it is very difficult to remain optimistic and believe in yourself, if everyone around them considers themselves victims and constantly complains about life, sacrifice becomes our constant companion. And what if aggression, criticism and hostility prevail around us, then this may well become our demeanor. This is why it is important to carefully choose the people with whom we spend time. The environment can stimulate growth and movement, or it can hold back and pull down.

A large number of people are split on the path of their development precisely because of the influence of such “patrons” from the immediate environment, who “try to protect from all sorts of nonsense” and persuade the “doing nonsense” to be like everyone else.

And it happens the other way around. A person finds himself in a more successful and positive environment, and he instinctively begins to adjust to it, which almost always makes him more successful. And knowing this difference, you can usefully create your immediate environment so that it contains as many people as possible who move you forward, and as few as possible those who pull you back.

Take a closer look at those with whom you usually communicate. Study carefully their difficulties, problems, desires. You may be able to see the reasons for your own problems.

And with whom is it worth communicating?

First of all, with people whose life you like, among whom you want to be. If you want to become a real professional in your field - communicate with already established professionals. If you want to travel more - communicate with travelers. Dreaming about your business - notice the strategies of successful businessmen.

The more the people around you have accomplished, the better. Someone else's success inspires us to our own exploits. Develop, communicate with the same passionate natures like you.

It is worth noting that a person's environment is not only people, but also books, films, social networks.

Think about what you spend your time on the most?

Do you get satisfaction from this?

Be healthy, successful, and be smart about your choice!