Fragments Of The Session "From Disbelief In Oneself To Confidence And Fullness"

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Client Natalia. We have a one-time demo session. Natalia is a responsive client with previous experience in therapy. Permission to publish materials based on the session has been received.

Start

We talk about everything: about relationships, about the lack of what you want in a relationship, about feelings of discontent and complaints about your partner, about the fear of rejection when expressing discontent.

I suggest Natalia to work with this. And Natalya remembers one more topic - “self-doubt”. I feel goosebumps all over my body, my eyes fill with tears, and there is a lump in my throat.

The topic is rather big. I think which side to enter it.

I do not have time to fully clarify what kind of beast this “disbelief in oneself” is, and how it manifests itself in Natalia's life, when I see a gray sucking funnel going into the ground.

"Goo"

I ask Natalia to see this “lack of faith in herself” in the form of some kind of image. Color, shape, size.

- It's a gray mass.

- Where is she?

- In a stomach. Diverges from the navel.

Below the navel is our energy center, the Hara point is the point of life. If some foreign phenomenon is located there, then it greatly de-energizes us.

At the same time - the navel, the umbilical cord, the connection with the mother. Perhaps something traumatized the relationship with my mother at a very early period, perhaps during the prenatal period.

I ask Natalia to give a name to this image. "Goo".

We talk with Zhizha. How does she feel, how long does she have with Natalya and how did she end up here, why is she here, what kind of contract they signed with Natalya.

We find out that Zhizha "was always" and she protects Natalia from the fear of the new.

- Zhizha, very soon Natalia will be able to cope without you and there will be no place for you here. We can now help you return to your real home. Or later, when Natalia doesn't need you, you will find yourself in who knows where.

- Oh, no, it's better to go home, - Zhizha worries.

- Where is your house?

- In that little girl, in little Natalia.

- No that's not true. Your house cannot be in Natalia.

We leave Zhiz to remember where her home is. We return to Natalia.

- Natalia, what could support you in times of fear of the new? Something that would provide security and support and help you take a step forward. Can you imagine some kind of image?

- White shirt or coat.

- Is it on you?

- Yes.

- How do you like it?

- More strength, more stability, confidence, security.

- Imagine that you now need to do what you used to be scared to do. How would you be now, when you are in this shirt?

- Yes I can.

In the meantime, it turns out that the Goo has become lighter, more liquid and flows into the ground. We wish her a safe journey. And Natalia is left with the newfound talisman.

“I have more strength,” says Natalya.

The trickles are small

I ask Natalia to name the mascot shirt. Natalya goes through different words.

- "Mantle". But as if I still lack something for this. As if the rod is missing.

We look at the rod where it breaks off. We do a body practice for energizing, centering and increasing stability. Trickles of energy flow, but small. The rod gets a little higher, but still breaks off. It ends at the place where in our body we have a zone of our own identity, self-acceptance. We do the practice “Three waterfalls of unconditional love”. There are waterfalls, but the trickles are small again.

Mom, give

I suggest Natalia to say the phrase “Mom, give! Give me mine! Natalia says. With difficulties. But he does. And Natalya imagines the image of a giving mother. Mom responded to the request! And the jets of the waterfalls have become larger!

I feel that it has become warm and even hot in space.

“My hands are warmer,” says Natalya.

"Adequacy"

We still have 10 minutes left. I offer Natalia one more practice.

- Thanks. Enough for me. I allowed myself everything - to ask, accept, thank.

Comments to the session

In Natalia's case, disbelief in herself is the fear that it will not work. “I won't be able to. I won't get it. They won't give me anything. And we go out on a relationship with my mother. With a mother who could not give something - then, in childhood. Requests that could not be expressed and heard turned into claims. Discontent and resentment appeared. It is impossible to express dissatisfaction - because it is scary that they will be rejected and will not give anything at all.

A vicious circle is formed “I want, but I don’t receive, I cannot ask, therefore I am angry, and therefore I can’t ask, I don’t receive and I am offended, therefore I can’t take anything”. And a deep confidence in their helplessness is formed. “I can’t do anything. What you do, what don’t you do - still nothing will work out.” This is very characteristic of the early oral structure.

Adult Natalia wants a fulfilled relationship, but chooses men who are only capable of scarce relationships, because this is already a familiar image. And the whole stream of claims that was against my mother is directed to the partner. But it is difficult to express a complaint. And getting an adequate response from your partner is even more difficult. Because there is no positive experience: to ask for something, to express dissatisfaction with something and at the same time to receive not rejection, but acceptance, to be heard and understood.

The phrase “Mom, give! Give me mine”returns the focus of attention and claims from the partner to the mother, to the primary object. This is both an expression of a claim, and a request, and the return to oneself of the right to ask and accept, the right to have one's own, it is also a passage through an insult. When the giving mother appears in the image, the cycle of love and opportunity to receive is restored.

Continuing work might involve living the anger and grief of not being received in time; acquiring skills to receive not only from mom, but also to find other sources of love, joy and energy filling; developing resilience in case someone refuses to give something; developing a guideline for fulfilled relationships; work with unconditional acceptance and a willingness to manifest in full (including with discontent, anger, and with love). We captured some of this in practices, and Natalya will be able to partially work with this on her own if she continues to practice.