Employers Do Not Take To Work Or Woe From "wits"

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Internal attitudes and their impact on success

"Sell your mind and buy the confusion of the soul" - W. Dyer.

"In most hierarchies, over-competence is taken as a greater evil than incompetence …".

I remember in my childhood, when I was in elementary school, our first teacher (excellent student of public education) told us: "Learn, children, otherwise, when you grow up, you can only twist the tails of cows."

Growing up, I began to understand that the more competent I become, the more books I read, the more successful my adult life will be, and the more respect and recognition I will receive from the people around me. However, if it were that simple …

There is clearly a catch here somewhere, where is it?

In the context of reflections on this topic, which is relevant for many super-competent and overly qualified applicants, I will give a recent example from the practice of my consulting.

Once, a man, 44 years old, turned to me for advice. Let's call him Y. Advocate, a member of the Bar Association, with a MGIMO diploma, fluent English, and 20 years of experience. With a second higher education in finance and several expensive and prestigious refresher courses and an advanced degree. It should be noted that he was in excellent physical shape, good-looking, expensively dressed, in full accordance with business etiquette. Moskvich, second marriage. He left his first apartment to his first wife. In the second marriage, there is a daughter, and the wife is expecting another child, according to forecasts - twins. And the most remarkable thing is that you have to pay off your mortgage to buy an apartment. The wife does not work, on maternity leave. My wife has a higher education (Moscow State University), she is also a lawyer.

As a result of the conversation, it turned out that for three years Yu. Has not been able to find a job for a permanent job in his specialty. He used all the methods he knew: the Internet, acquaintances, employment agencies. When it came to interviews, I got rejections from employers. Sometimes I got rejections even at the stage of sending out a resume. At the time of contacting me, Y. was far from in the best emotional state, taking into account his family situation and the situation with the loan. Yu was all in debt.

What turned out for me, as a specialist, as a result of counseling: in Y.'s speech every now and then phrases sounded: “I and my many years of experience”, “I'm too good for this job,” “and what to do, I have to consider different options "," I need to pay off the mortgage "," I will soon have three children, and the family will consist of five people, and everyone needs to be fed."

In general, I can note that even in conversation with me, Y. slightly “crushed” with his intellect: he corrected me, tried to speak more himself, gave historical examples that fit the context of our dialogue, in a word, demonstrated education and erudition, tried to dominate.

Here it is necessary to decide what employers want or expect from applicants: “Everywhere they are waiting for docile and“agreeable”- who will not refuse to stroke,” writes in his book “Brains for Rent, or How to Find a Job”.

Whether Yu can be attributed to docile - it is quite obvious that he is not. And to the "smooth"?

Also hardly. How can others feel when they are with such a person and employee?

More often than not, that does not reach him … to his brilliant, sharp mind and professional experience. For what purpose it is necessary for Yu to constantly demonstrate his "intelligence" - this is another question … as they say, we will talk about this in the next program.

The second violin in Y.'s situation is played by his unconscious inner attitude towards work. Consciously Yu wants to find a job. Unconsciously, however, he resists this in every possible way, considering himself "much better than any wage-earning job." Because of this contradiction, an internal conflict is created, which is read by employers, also unconsciously. Hence the refusals. Working with Yu.lasted about four months.

It was not easy to "shake" his installation, let's say. However, two months later he found a job. Now we meet with him once a month, as needed. It should be noted that the work on transferring the internal attitude from the unconscious to the level of consciousness yields tangible results. Here is a list of the most common negative attitudes towards employment and options for translating them into positive ones:

Table 1 Installation

As we can see, some points of the table reveal much deeper inner aspects of the personality, lead to a rethinking of their goals and life plans. In some cases, unsuccessful employment reveals such personal layers that a person rethinks a lot, changes his profession, transforms. Thus, nothing happens just like that, everything is needed for something. Another thing is how we treat temporary difficulties, what decisions we make and whether we continue to move forward.

To work with internal settings, you can offer a simple exercise: it is proposed to write in a column on a sheet of paper at least 10 own negative statements about employment … After that, you need to write opposite the negative - positive … Each positive one should be written on a separate sheet of paper. Lay out the sheets in a semicircle on the floor. Become inside a semicircle. Begin to read aloud the first positive statement. Then the second. Then again the first, the second. Further, the first, second and third. And so on to the end, every time starting from the first.

Do this three times. This exercise should be done within a week. The result will not be long in coming.

In other words: "Without labor, you can't even get a fish out of the pond."