2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Some of my thoughts on the main thing …
Love is perhaps the most powerful human need.
This need is experienced by a person as a desire to be noticed, needed, valuable to the Other, the need to be reflected by the Other.
In my opinion, there are three forms of love, depending on the object (Other).
Love of a loved one
Love-Recognition
Love-Glory
Love of a loved one - a very intimate feeling. She is always singular. It contains You and there is a specific Other (parent, child, partner).
Love-Recognition - “love” of some environment meaningful for a person. This may be some specific reference group (professional community, interest group). Due to the fact that there are several Others here, the Other as a specific person is often blurred. As a result, a certain image of the Other can be created - as a generalized authority.
Love-Glory - “love” is massive (nationwide, world-wide). The other here becomes a kind of abstraction.
When moving from the first to the third form of love, some patterns:
- The number of these very Others, from whom you expect love, is increasing (from one to tens-hundreds and to thousands-millions).
- Their alienation is increasing (from closeness-intimacy to neutrality-anonymity)
- The "price" of love is decreasing. The love of the significant environment is more valuable than the love of the masses. And the love of a loved one turns out to be dearer than all other forms of love. It is easy to be convinced of this in the event of some kind of "misfire" in life. The crowd-mass “ceases to love”, forgets very quickly, the reference group can retain interest for a longer time, and only a loved one does not stop loving you.
Does this mean that you need to give up other forms of love besides the love of loved ones?
Not at all. This does not negate the other two forms of love. Rather, it differentiates this feeling. It does not depreciate, but determines its price.
Ideally, all three forms of love are present.
The love of a loved one is a kind of foundation, a base on which the other two can be layered. The second and third forms can act both as separate needs (if the first is present) and as ways to compensate for the first (in the absence of it). Compensatory forms of love serve as a way to stabilize the personality, creating the illusion of the presence of love. Sometimes this design can be quite durable.
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