2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Cancellation is a psychological defense that consists in an unconscious attempt to balance some uncomfortable feeling (shame, guilt, fear). In other words, a person takes actions that, in his opinion, will atone for guilt, relieve him of the expected punishment.
The consequences of constant use of this protection can be dire.
For example, a girl from childhood carries an unprocessed feeling of guilt towards her parents, which makes her unconsciously seek punishment for herself, as a result of which she is continually raped, gets into accidents, etc. When she suffers, she seems to atone for her guilt.
Another example. A man constantly suffers, devaluing all the good in his life. When you make him think about what this gives him, he voices the installation that if today was a good day, tomorrow you will certainly have to pay a hundredfold: "I'd rather suffer a little in advance so that some trouble doesn't happen."
Such a picture of the world dooms a person to eternal pessimism, depression, anxious expectation of failure, trouble.
Another example of cancellation is the fear of stepping on cracks in the pavement. The person convinces himself that if he does not step on the cracks on the way to work, then he will not get into trouble, the day will be successful.
However, if he nevertheless steps on a crack, he will be in an anxious expectation of something bad all day, thereby programming himself for this.
Feeling guilty for some unacceptable thoughts or actions, a person can atone for sins, engage in charity.
A guilty husband can give his wife gifts, become compliant.
The disadvantages of such behavior are that a person begins to relate tolerantly to his destructive actions, because he always has the opportunity to appease the inner critic or imaginary gods with such a "redemptive" act.
A parent, feeling guilty before the child for his emotional detachment, begins to overly patronize him, pamper him with purchases, forming a consumer attitude, instead of understanding the reasons for the detachment.
Inducing vomiting after binge eating can also act as an atonement for food intemperance in people with CRP.
The constant unconscious use of undoing replaces problem solving with rituals and self-deception.
Recommended:
Inside The Shame. How To Get Rid Of Shame
Shame in all its manifestations occupies a very important place in our psyche and social life. Shame guards the inner space of our personality and suggests what can be brought up for general discussion, and what is better to keep with us. Its protective function is manifested in the phrases - "
Shame. Stages Of Inner Work With Shame
Author: Elena Monique Shame is an inner feeling of inadequacy. When I am seized by shame, I do not feel myself. Not only is no positive experience of myself happening to me, but no experience of myself at all. My energy leaks and dries up.
Believe Or Betray? About Shame And The Form Of Working With Shame
Surrender yourself and meet the expectations of others, or remain yourself contrary to the expectations of others? This is a choice that everyone has to make. Sooner or later. Anyone who chooses the first path and betrays himself feels unhappy.
How To Overcome Shame? How To Get Rid Of Shame
Fear of shame … Why are we afraid to experience this feeling and in every possible way avoid it? And what can this lead to in the end? To some extent, this is an escape from all situations that can cause shame - fear of being humiliated, fear of receiving criticism in your direction.
It's A Shame And Scary Not To Be Perfect. Where Does This Fear And Shame Come From And How To Help Yourself
During the New Year holidays I had a desire to write a post about my impressions of the film "Hare over the Abyss". I began to write it. I wrote. I reread and notice that I am not happy with what is written. And then I went to the Kinopoisk website and read the reviews of other people about this film.