2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Tired of watching your girlfriends give roses and iPhones, and your boyfriends can only ask for a loan and like your ex? Let's figure out what the reason is:
1. You invest sooo much in your appearance, career and self-development, but you don’t believe in your “beauty”. You are constantly improving every millimeter of consciousness only because of a neurotic fear of being useless to anyone, because it is impossible to love you just for what you are. Here are all sorts of toxic assholes and feel your anxiety and the need for compliments, and at least some kind of relationship, and beautifully enter your mortal life.
2. You love to save everyone: cats from the trash heap, girlfriends from the club, the Earth from evil and the same Misha from his bad friends and bunks…. Abusers immediately feel the "victim" with which they can play the games "victim-aggressor-rescuer" for years, one that will justify any of his vile actions and forgive him until he turns blue in the face. It seems to you that saving them all, you just want to help them, but no - you want them to depend on you, to help you sometime. This is a truth that is difficult to accept.
3. You realized from childhood that love is pain. On the example of a broken heart of a mother, sister, or multiple divorces in the family. You learned that love is when it's bad, when dad disappears somewhere, when dad is a tyrant, and so on. The stable position of the victim does not allow you to get out of this state, therefore, you will not pay attention to ordinary psychologically healthy guys - you need the one with whom your psyche wants to "play out" the game that you lost in childhood. But without new skills of behavior and attitude towards yourself, you will get the same result as in your family.
There is only one way out - psychotherapy, no illusions and responsibility for your life.
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