Sincerity As An Elixir From Self-deception

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

It is not autumn now, but the leaves are still falling. Sometimes its obsolete bark also falls off. I want to share with you the experience of my own observations, observations of myself. More precisely, behind the mechanisms that are now limp: those that just a couple of years ago were fresh, but now they are already obsolete mechanisms. They leave slowly, on the sly, the departure of deep mechanisms is always associated with living through mistakes, falls, with a certain pain that does not have to be avoided at all, otherwise there is no way to live it, and you can not call it pain, if it is completely direct

I'll try to be honest. As with a lie detector - I am so much more interested, and even with you, openness I hope will inspire trust, and when there is trust between us, half the work is done.

So, it seems to me that about 4-5 years ago I discovered beauty or truth or sincerity - whatever you call it. You can call it differently: some psychological defense mechanisms fell down, and it turned out that behind them lies lightness, joy and peace, and everything that is real, non-illusory, timeless. The beauty of this discovery is that, in fact, NOTHING much was discovered, but nevertheless this is precisely a discovery, or we can say awareness.

Its essence is not in words and words is inexpressible, but in words it may sound like what you have most likely already met in words: there is nowhere to come, life has no goals or meaning, there is nothing to avoid, you can meet with everything, there is no fear, but what seems scary is scary only from afar, but at the moment of meeting it is quite bearable, acceptable and even interesting. The essence of all discomforts and problems is only I, familiarity, confidence, pride, knowledge, understanding, identification, fear of losing something or the desire to hold on to something, the feeling that something somewhere can be mine and is connected exactly with me, be at least "my" love, or "my" book, or "my" thought, or "my" idea. This word "mine", or rather what lies behind it, is the only reason why being in everyone loses life, joy, love and peace, forgetting how to nurture oneself and begins to try to control, improve, modify itself, striving for what something goals, to the ideal, or at least for the better.

Exactly all the same goes out, pouring out on the one who is nearby, and there is no way to get away from it - what is in you is always automatically broadcast outward. It is impossible to worry inside, and to express peace outside, what is expressed in its essence will always be endowed with an inner essence. And even if the form of expression is calm, something else can easily be hidden behind it. The same with the form of expression expressive, loud or active - it does not necessarily contain disagreement, anger or aggression, often yes, but sometimes, in the cases of a certain person, maybe not at all, but in order to recognize this, it must be good familiar to you.

Together with this discovery, a huge surprise happened: it is very simple and accessible to everyone, but literally no one is interested in it. Even those who openly say that this is what is interesting: love, sincerity, openness, with a probability of 99% - this is a lie.

More precisely, for a person, this is definitely not a lie, it seems to him that everything is exactly like that, he just does not yet know what really lies behind the words love, sincerity, openness. And behind this is always something that this person actively avoids, something from which a person has learned to hide. And always, forever and ever, it is one and the same: absolute vulnerability, being touched by life and all the people around; the courage to face facts that sometimes hurt, but not suffer; the ability not to demand, not to manipulate, but to share oneself; the ability not to wait and not to hope, but at the same time not to be callous or closed; the ability to openly and directly reveal one's own thoughts, ideas, desires, thoughts, but sensually, caringly - directly, but with love; the ability to be content with the little that is every moment.

Everything began to change, which is not so important, because literally everything.

The essence of my message now is different. I want to tell you about how the truth, the one that was revealed and the one that is still visible and can no longer go anywhere, turned out to be in my performance at times cruel and completely merciless. And it took years for this realization, not so much, but still. Constant sensitive attentive observation, first of all, of oneself, the courage not to be afraid to admit one's own mistakes and thus reveal one's own sensitivity and sensitivity, led to the realization, not in words, that truth without love is always violence. The cruelty of the truth, as it was recently discovered, can be in insensitivity and untimeliness, in an attempt to force the situation, in an attempt to convey, to disclose, to show someone who is nearby and possibly shares what is available to him in the form that is available to him.

And my experience of interacting with people suggests that rarely anyone is ready to look directly at themselves and their question, and an attempt to open a direct look at such moments, if a person is not yet ready for this, quite naturally meets with fierce resistance, defense, flight, or retaliatory attack. It is never possible to open more deeply than is now available. But even if it is possible, and this also happened to me, then the help that you give to an unprepared person very, very soon becomes a burden for him and an inevitable rollback to the old, familiar, but still not lived on his own occurs, and the rollback, with experiences of multiply increased intensity.

To tell the truth, but to tell it in love is a great art.

Now I am learning this. I am learning a tender sincerity, not the kind that is like a razor's edge, there are no problems in it, such an expression of truth is revealed and is now familiar well, and sometimes it comes in handy; but also sincerity of love, tender. Now much more often than quite recently, I succeed, but not always. And when this fails, an appropriate "feedback" happens (or, in the language of the ancients, karma), a quick consequence, quick fruits, the essence of which is always my own manifestations.

This is a piece of my story, told without embellishment, as I can see it now.

With you, I can share what is open and clear to me, and some of this, in my opinion, may be useful to you. I can help you clearly see and meet your dark sides, those that you deny, from which you hide, you run. It is not easy, but possible. Having met with this, you will no longer need me, because there are no other obstacles to happiness. And besides happiness, neither you nor I are interested in anything else.