2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
- Mom, it's winter outside, and you have a child without a hat! He's going to get sick
- Boy, you can't talk to your mom like that!
Almost all mothers have encountered such incorrect remarks. And, of course, such an appeal cannot but provoke a reciprocal aggression. "Don't tell me what to do, and I won't tell you where to go!" But, more often than not, social attitudes prevail over feelings, and the phrase remains unspoken, and the next stone that hit the maternal self-esteem falls heavily on the woman's soul.
What is behind the desire of people to criticize and give unsolicited advice?
There may be several reasons:
This is heightened anxiety hiding behind the desire to control everything.
This is also a feeling of unfulfillment, expressed in the need for self-affirmation at the expense of others.
It is also a long-term habit of teaching everyone.
But whatever the motives behind such remarks, the basic one is disrespect for other people and personal boundaries.
A person believes he has the right to invade someone else's space and stamp his feet there. A person believes he has the right to demonstrate his superiority.
Of course, such treachery should be rebuffed.
Prepare some reflective polite phrases, for example:
- Thank you, everything is fine with us!
- Thanks for the advice, everything is under control!
- Thank you, we do not need help!
- Sorry, I do not discuss the behavior of MY child with strangers.
Or not very polite, if you are so annoyed with advice and comments that you are ready to explode. I think the words will be found right away.
Another very effective way is simply not to react to comments. Make a glass look and turn a deaf ear. It may seem impolite, but you must admit that you did not set such a tone.
I am often asked, and in what cases can I do to someone else's child?
My position is that it is NOT ALLOWED to make comments to a stranger's child under any circumstances. DO NOT approach someone else's child. Make contact and talk with someone else's child without parental permission is NOT allowed.
If a child violates social norms and rules, and gives you discomfort, you can contact his mother with a request to influence the situation. But precisely with a request, and not with claims and criticism. I assure you that 90% of mothers will react adequately and take control of the situation.
But, there are people who perceive any even the most polite request as "hitting". Alas, you can’t do anything here and the best solution would be to get out of the situation, if possible, just move away. Take this philosophically. You were out of luck, and you met with an ill-mannered person, well it happens that way.
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