2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Clients often come to my consultation asking for advice. Here are some of the wishes: "Stay with him (with her) or leave", "How to proceed further", "How quickly to remake him (her)", "How to get someone to do as I want", etc. etc. etc.
Often these clients are looking for a replacement for the parent. They refer to the psychologist as the parent figure. And then the psychologist must shrug off all troubles and suffering.
I am the psychologist who does not give advice. I am not a fortune-teller or a seer.
If I give advice to a client, then all responsibility for his life will fall on me. And the first option for developing work with such a client is that he will go to consultations for a very, very long time. The second option is when everything does not go the way the client would like in his life, and this will happen sooner or later, and I will become the cause of all his troubles.
Neither the first nor the second variant of development suits me as a specialist. It is important for me to see the result of our work with the client. Of course, this can also be long-term therapy. But already in the process of work, the changes will be visible. The client will experience these changes. Take responsibility for them. And to realize step by step that it is a gift to be free in your decisions and make them yourself.
Why, then, do you need me as a specialist? After all, you can go to a friend or relative. Of course. But will there be confidence in confidentiality, in understanding what is really going on? Most likely this will be help based only on my own experience. Own emotions and feelings were brought into the problem. A friend or relative might not say exactly what you want to hear. And then a conflict may arise or resentment lurks.
The psychologist is neither friend nor relative. The psychologist is a graduate who has years of personal therapy and training behind him, working daily with situations that are most often similar to each other.
My task as a psychologist is:
- guarantee the client 100% confidentiality;
- help the client see his strengths;
- teach the client to make decisions independently and be responsible for them (this is for those for whom someone decides something all the time);
- help the client to see the irrationality of those attitudes that interfere with movement, development, enjoyment of life here and now;
- help the client to realize and live the repressed feelings and emotions;
- support the client in difficult stages of therapy;
- help the client see his relationship with reality;
- see "generic scripts";
- teach the client to hear their emotions and feelings and allow them to be. Do not divide them into “bad” and “good”;
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