2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
I have a friend. She is already over fifty years old, works in a state structure in the office. When she is too lazy to work (and viewing the fascinating Oriflame catalog increases these gaps to a systematic state), she actively turns on the snowflake mode, abundantly seasoned with the plaintiveness of the spaniel's eyes and stubbornly pretends that typing one page of text correctly is the pinnacle of the impossible.
At this point, even Stanislavsky would have been imbued with faith in the difficulty of aligning text in width and the correct placement of commas. Melpomene herself would give her her title after seeing attempts to format all the text with the same font and size. Every third person in an enterprise will think five times before stressing the "poor fellow" with work that requires at least some mental activity. Every second person will do it himself faster than give the document for printing to the one who has this function spelled out in his job description. And almost every first person does not want to bother poor Olenka (the name has been changed, of course) with difficult work, because she does not have time to do everything anyway.
But! You should have seen. how this woman transforms when she really needs something! She will force me to send two lines of a personal fax three times, because there is an ugly dot at the bottom of the sheet; she, in a mentoring tone, will refuse to pay for the parcel delayed by 5 minutes; she will bravely stand 18 hours in a row in the kitchen to butter up with a dozen salads and a dozen types of meat all who work for her, so that until the next birthday everyone would be somehow embarrassed to ask her to work, because she spends so much time to treat everyone. And 99% of her environment suffers from such an alignment of forces, and no one (with rare exceptions) is trying to destroy this wonderful mechanism. A rare daredevil who dares to point out Olenka's flaws in work and who has refused another food-work barter becomes enemy number 1. Everyone will be whispered in an offended whisper that Katka (for example) ran into Olenka for a text in the style "for my birthday, we walked down the street and saw an expensive store." In addition, (the reptile) did not eat tons of salads, by the way, prepared for her. From ear to ear, this terrible information spreads at the speed of light, and now, two days later, everyone looks at poor Katka with accusations in his eyes, desperately pitying Olenka and straining her with work even less. Class. Bravo. I applaud.
And this is an isolated case. And how many of these Olenek, permanently complaining about her bastard husband, ungrateful children, little money, a lot of work, life is difficult. And after all, their sum does not change even when the terms change. Even if, in the absence of money, such Olenka buys a new McBook Air. Even if with her husband - the lull of the last 12 months. Even if the conditions at work have improved and the money began to be paid more. Always (do you understand the meaning of this word to the end?), There will always be something wrong and there will be a reason to be unhappy. Because that's the only way - she gets the right amount of compulsory attention. Because, in her opinion, when you are happy - who needs you? And when you are a person-pain, a person-suffering, a person-rejection - it is a completely different matter: they will regret, and they will offer help, and they will reprimand those who do not believe in the depth of your misfortunes and threaten them with a finger. And after all, it is not necessary for such Olenka to live happily. She's fine with being the center of attention that way. Yes, they do. Yes, they don't often come to her with good news. But how much effort everyone puts into it!
Do you know what the behavior of such a common noun Olenka is called? Manipulation. Cool, thoughtful, skillful. Almost no digging, almost no notice. And what a gorgeous mechanism: the supposedly eternal victim is a quiet hidden aggressor who does not tolerate and does not forgive disagreement and the slightest protest. The Savior himself turns out to be a victim (which is sometimes controversial), doing good deeds with such sweetness and leaving home with a feeling of satisfaction for the salvation of the unfortunate. Such Olenki-despots always need donors of strength, attention and time, because without them, the game cannot be played and there is no one to clap their hands.
Take a look around. Surely among the acquaintances there is at least one such Olenka. If you have symbiosis with her and you mutually enjoy such an addictive relationship, playing the savior and the victim - be happy, good health (is it only good …). If the background is followed by the thought that you are being used, let your Olenka go in peace: there will be another person in your place, and you will again start spending time and energy in a more productive direction.
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