Die By My Side

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

I usually rarely react to such expressions as “just don’t be offended”, “don’t worry”, “it doesn’t hurt at all” and the like “and there is no need to yell like that.” But this is usually the case. Now my condition is not quite usual, so I began to react. Today I clearly and clearly explained to a loved one that it is unpleasant and even painful for me to hear such words. And if I don’t start crying back, it’s only because I know that the close ones are the close ones, because I trust them and under the words “don’t worry,” I hear something completely different. My rational part hears something else, quite comforting if you think about it. But the emotional "think" does not know how …

My favorite simplified brain diagram is indispensable here. Let me make a reservation right away that the theory of Paul McLean's "triune brain" is more a metaphor than a scientific definition. But she

a) visually beautiful

b) helps to explain complex things on the fingers

Therefore, here it is in a few words. The human brain functions simultaneously like the brains of a crocodile, a horse, and a human. The crocodile is a reptile, everything is aimed at survival functions, it is all subordinated to the basic biological needs - to absorb and excrete. What is sometimes called the "reptilian brain" in humans is the lower parts of the brain that are responsible for the functions of the body. This is the department that keeps us alive even in a state of deep swoon. When a person is conscious, this department is able to interact with other departments and respond at the bodily level.

For example, the story when "I had not yet had time to get scared, but was already sitting on a tree and tucking my legs, fleeing from a terrible dog." This is the very case when the reaction to danger came very quickly, without passing the analysis filter "is this dog so scary, but how will I get down from this tree?" and bypassing, perhaps, the stage of emotions, which can arise simultaneously more than one, such as "oh, what a cute little dog to get away with, nifiga yourself, what teeth ahhh !!!" and stalling the survival response by trying to choose which emotion to submit.

A horse is a mammal, it can no longer do with the simplest behavioral patterns, it has better developed that which is poorly developed in a crocodile - emotions. Mammals are more subtle than just "pleasure-displeasure", they receive more information from the outside world and from the inside too. In humans, the functions of the "horse's brain" are performed by the limbic system, which is responsible for emotional responses. Emotions are closely related to bodily manifestations. So, for example, sadness-melancholy or anger can arise "out of the blue", but if these emotions disappear without a trace after tea with a sandwich, then it was a signal from the "reptilian brain" - the body said that it was hungry, go and eat.

But man is a more complex creature than a horse. For example, we still have such a wonderful formation, which is called the "neocortex", thanks to which we can feel emotions not only from real-life physical stimuli, but also from images that are formed in our wonderful cerebral cortex. These images can be memories, words, memories of words, etc. In general, we are able to receive emotions from what at the moment, as it were, is not in nature. But it was or, perhaps, only will be. Thanks to the neocortex, we can plan, predict … And if the prognosis is unfavorable, then hold on, the horse's brain. Although, if pleasant, then also not always good.

So, all three "brains" interact with each other. And the emotional brain is between a rock and a hard place. The anvil is the "reptilian brain" and physiological responses that themselves signal through the R-complex for emotions and receive commands to systems and organs from the "horse brain". The hammer is the "human brain" to which consciousness is attributed. Which, on the one hand, is "obliged" to constantly learn, plan, analyze, synthesize, and on the other, also try to control its own horse and crocodile.

So, the emotional system lives in rather difficult conditions, sending and receiving impulses in two directions. And to signals from the "human brain", that is, to words, she is able to react in almost the same way as to physical impact, such as pressure, stroking, or there hunger, satiety.

And when the body experiences pain, an emotion of "sadness" or "irritation" may arise, something that allows you to transmit a signal further, to the "inner crocodile", so that it either howls (do crocodiles howl?), Calling for help, or moves away, or abruptly pushed back what hurts.

But suddenly someone says, referring to the human brain, "why get sick - there's a solid bone right there!" That is, they try to turn our emotional "horse" by the bridle in two directions at once. Feelings are in conflict with the image created about this sensation. The emotional brain is confused. The reptilian brain also doesn't really know what to do. From this, the endocrine system, which receives signals from the internal crocodile, goes a little crazy, secretes hormones somewhat chaotically, the vessels either narrow or expand, the heartbeat cannot understand whether to prepare for flight or attack, his breathing becomes confused, preferring the "freeze" reaction … And further different options are possible. One of the most common is anesthesia. The same "don't feel".

In general, most often periods when we “feel nothing”, as a rule, mean our fixation just on sensations that are either too pleasant or too unpleasant, evoking emotions, but which are not realized at the same time. Because it is possible for a person to function completely without emotions, only at the level of survival, that is, breathe, maybe swallow, excrete something, maintain the heartbeat and body temperature. And then, with the latter, there may be problems - the heartbeat and thermoregulation, although they are unconscious processes, without connection with the emotional brain begin to malfunction and need monitoring and adjustment. An unconscious person needs another person to survive - emotional enough to have compassion and support the life of a sick comrade. Well, or nurses with a good salary.

But we can “not feel feelings” by blocking the awareness of emotions. That is, there is emotion, and the "reptilian brain" "knows" about it. And consciousness does not take into account emotion. And he creates "conclusions, forecasts and decisions" as if this emotion does not exist. Needless to say, such conclusions may not be very practical for an organism that "does not feel"? It happens that anesthesia or deception of the senses is necessary for survival. Under normal conditions, our body has enough resources for this - endogenous opiates, for example. Or some other internal drugs for emergency use. It is interesting that emotions in this case can "overlap" sensations, sometimes even life-threatening. But this resource is limited and with a long-term need to "not feel" any external "disconnectors" may be needed - someone will need a bottle of vodka. And good advice is enough for someone, like, "forget it, she still wasn't worthy of you."

Thus, the message "do not feel anger" or "do not feel joy" - this is a request not to feel anything at the moment.

That is, disconnect from the center that supports an active life. Such a request to myself "you are too much, die for a short time."

A normal horse will resist such a request. But a person is often taught not to resist from childhood.

They teach to "control emotions" instead of teaching them to adequately use them, express them, and if they do control them, then the manifestations of emotions, and not the whole part of the brain.

Emotions do not always arise adequately to the situation, for various reasons. Everything related to emotions is a very complex, multi-component system. But in general, emotions promote healthy self-regulation. Too strong manifestations of emotions with a weak stimulus, or emotions that appear "at the wrong time, in the wrong place" usually indicate a malfunction in the entire body, not only in the "emotional department" of the brain.

And therefore, they require much more attention to themselves than the simple "found, from what to be upset, but it's not worth a damn, ugh!" It does help sometimes, though. Rarely. When yes, really, there is no problem. And yes, the person who says this is sitting next to you, patting you on the head and at the same time not blaming you for finding the problem. In short, there is already some experience that this person is close. And at this moment, too, he is a little upset. But not because of the problem, which is about the "eaten egg", but because you are upset. That is, it is not a friendly message "don't feel" that helps in this case, but empathy.

Empathy is when I, Petya Pyatochkin, do not see a problem in this. But I see that there is a problem for you, Vasya Vasechkin. And I am near and ready to admit it and testify. And share your feelings, although I cannot share your thoughts on this matter. Or your reaction.

They say, empathy - this is what is best developed in the "human brain". The ability to share another person's feelings is empathy. To share is not to rush to sprinkle ashes on the head when another is in grief, but to be near and not try to console where the grief is inconsolable. Paradoxically, it is precisely developed empathy, that is, the ability to "feel someone else's pain" that can lead to cruel phrases like "why be ill here."

When someone is in pain and this someone does not hide the pain, the witness of the ugliness can also experience physical suffering that is quite measurable by devices. And in order to stop this suffering, he tries to "stop" the other person by telling him "Well, stop feeling what you feel! Die for a while!" This is a normal "reptilian" reaction aimed at getting rid of suffering, in general, at one's own survival. My "human brain" can understand and forgive this. But a horse! The horse in my head, in response to “just don’t be offended,” can kick in with a hoof, until the “human brain” realizes that it is not necessary to do this.

So the whole post is actually about that. Don't make pregnant women angry (s):)