2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Then a person has the opportunity to guess that this is not the only way to live his life.
A person with a secure attachment (AP) lives and does not really think about it. And with a high probability, he will get a partner with an NP and so they will live their whole lives and will never know these words and everything is fine.
However, the model may differ from the reliable one, it may be shifted by kufda: there may be high anxiety, or high avoidance, or some other changes.
When a person begins to guess and understand that:
▸ this is not the only way to build relationships
▸ the model with which he lives, what he considers to be true, what he considers to be the correct, immutable rule about how relationships between people are arranged, this is just his childhood experience
Then, he has the opportunity:
▹ there is freedom, the gap is to look at this strategy from the outside
▹ to feel "what if I want something differently"
This is the point of the idea to look at your working model of attachment.
A working model of attachment always contains the full range of strategies. In some situations you need to be anxious, in some - to close (avoid, withdraw).
Problems begin when some strategy subjugates a person. When a person wants or does not want, whether it is appropriate or not appropriate, functional or not functional, he always behaves this way.
Do I have a strategy or is it me?
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