2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Beliefs, if very simply, are sentences formulated as "If, then" or "X equals Y". For example, "If you don't get married before 20, then no one needs you anymore" or "All rich people are bastards."
Some beliefs are easy to find on their own, and this is good, but, as a rule, these beliefs already affect us insofar as. Those who are not realized are much more influential.
When you work with a person, and then he is surprised: “Do I really believe in this?”, “Is this something in my head?”. Yes, that is.
1. About awareness
According to the Dilts pyramid, beliefs are a high neurological level that affects our abilities, our behavior and our environment. Many of our beliefs are not realized (because we get them at an early age, when there is no critical thinking as such; many are simply not realized). If a person works on himself and strives for awareness, working with beliefs is an important stage in the development of this very awareness. I would even say obligatory.
2. About the Soviet Union
It just so happened that we live at the junction of two realities - the Soviet one and the one that is now. In Soviet reality, life was different, people behaved differently, and beliefs were also different (corresponding to that time). Reality has changed, and we still carry convictions from that time (moreover, even people who did not really find the union). The best way to get rid of them is to realize and transform into something more appropriate for the time. This should be done, again, consciously. Don't wait for it to be.
3. I do what I don’t want to do
This is one of the signs that a person has limiting beliefs. I do what I don’t want, because I have to, because it’s accepted, because it’s impossible to do otherwise, and so on. There are usually some kind of beliefs behind this, in most cases unconscious. These may even be attitudes not of the person himself, but of his parents or, even worse, the parents of his parents.
4. I don’t do what I want
Similar to the previous point. For example, a person wants his own business, but “it’s impossible,” “oh, but I still won’t succeed,” “you won’t make money in our country,” and so on.
5. About emotions
When our beliefs are touched, we usually get emotional. It is often illogical and inconsistent. We also defend our beliefs - and that is why it is so difficult to find them on our own.
6. Simplification equals limitation
In general, beliefs are needed in order to make it easier to understand something. For example, a person touched a hot stove, got burned and concluded “Hot stoves are dangerous”. And, in principle, there is nothing wrong with that. If we are talking about slabs.
Because it happens in a different way: for example, a person decided that “You can't make money in our country” (and then people who manage to make money in this country simply fall out of his field of vision) or a woman decided “You can't rely on men” (here she once decided that, and now she sees only evidence that it is impossible; she simply will not see opposite examples).
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If the conviction is discovered and worked through, a choice appears. Do this or that. People are like that, and sometimes they are not like that at all. You can not earn, but you can earn. Some men cannot be relied upon, and some are very safe. Etc.
Expanding the picture of the world and freedom from one's own limitations is a big deal.
In my understanding, beliefs are like walls in the head. Think about who, when and why built the walls in your head. Maybe they are no longer needed at all, those walls.
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Finally, catch three stories that demonstrate how beliefs work well:
“A jealous wife inspects her husband's jacket every day and for every hair she finds, she arranges scenes of jealousy for him. Once she did not find a single hair and shouted: “This is what you have reached, you don’t disdain even bald women!” (Author unknown)
“A psychiatrist treated a man who believed that he was a corpse. Despite all the logical arguments, the patient persisted in his conviction. Once, in a flash of inspiration, a psychiatrist asked a patient: "Are the corpses bleeding?" He replied: “Are you laughing? Of course not". After asking the patient for permission, the psychiatrist pricked his finger and squeezed out a drop of bright red blood. The patient looked at the bloody finger with contempt and surprise and exclaimed, “Damn it! It turns out that corpses are bleeding! "" (From the book "Beliefs and Habits. How to Change?", Robert Dilts)
“There was a blind girl in one very friendly and big family. Every evening for dinner, my mother made dumplings and served them on the table, and every evening the blind girl stretched out her arms in front of her, and groping the plate muttered under her breath: "Again they did not report me the dumplings …" And then one day my father got tired of all this, and he says to his mother: “Listen! How she got me! Yes, take and boil a basin of dumplings for her - let her choke! … "The mother does so, prepares a basin of dumplings, and puts it in front of the blind girl … She stretches out her hands, feels the dumplings and says:" I can imagine how much you took for yourself! … "(author unknown)
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