2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Every day I run into my internal evaluator. I show love for myself, I show exactingness. Every day I accept some features of my soul, and repulse others and constantly evaluate, evaluate …
For a long time I thought that low self-esteem was a manifestation of some kind of deficiency. I considered it a negative phenomenon, like some negative number below zero. The words "low", "high", "underestimated", "overestimated", often used with the word self-esteem, played a cruel joke. It is clear that all these are manifestations of the same inadequate self-esteem, but such a visual representation is difficult to turn off. It would seem that the question is only in terms of what?
The problem is that from the idea of self-esteem as something "low" or "high", two irrational beliefs arise.
- Self-esteem can be corrected with all sorts of "buns" - love, praise, approval, positive thoughts.
- Self-esteem cannot be corrected with these "buns". This is self-deception.
Like all decent irrational representations, they contradict each other and lead the unfortunate owner to a dead end. Whatever you do to boost low self-esteem, it doesn't work well. Any positive notions look false and temporary, and life is filled with anxiety, mania and depression.
What can be changed in such a situation?
Change the original perception of self-esteem as something negative.
Low self-esteem is not a lack of confidence, but the presence of uncertainty.
There are no pros and cons like self-assessment tests. Uncertainty is not a consequence of a lack of beauty, strength or intelligence, but an attitude that makes you consider yourself inferior. At the same time, there are beliefs in the personality that feed both high and low self-esteem. That is why inadequate self-esteem often resembles a swing from self-deprecation to self-aggrandizement. How to stop riding this swing?
There is a short philosophical solution to the problem of self-esteem. Epoch - This is the principle of reasoning in philosophy, including stopping all judgments about the existence of an object outside the perceiving consciousness. In other words era it is a non-judgmental perception of something. There will be no low or high self-esteem if you do not evaluate yourself.
Easy to say but difficult to do. Why?
- Most of the attitudes that make up self-esteem are unconscious.
- Self-esteem is more manifested at the sensory level and does not give in to thoughts.
- Self-esteem works on autopilot and escapes our attention.
- In everyday life, it is difficult to constantly use epoch.
How can you really fix your inadequate self-esteem? For this, there are psychological counseling and psychotherapy. Usually, beliefs called low self-esteem are formed during childhood and adolescence. Even if there were no problems in relations with parents and in communicating with peers, many people inherit a whole heap of negative attitudes, habits and complexes in the psychological inheritance. They exist in parallel with self-love and an adequate view of the world. But sometimes it is insecurity, self-criticism, and hatred that we use, rather than common sense and acceptance. It happens.
All that low self-esteem consists of can be worked through and changed. Of course, you can do it yourself in ten, fifteen years. Or you can seek help from a psychologist or psychotherapist and achieve this faster. Life is too short and you shouldn't waste it fighting yourself.
When all the layers that make up insecurity and self-dislike are gone, any self-esteem will become a value in itself.
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