Types Of Mental Trauma And Methods Of Working With Them

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

There are the following types of injuries:

• Existential trauma (a situation of a fatal threat), accompanied by the fear of death and puts a person in front of a choice: to withdraw into himself or to show mental fortitude, to become stronger.
• The trauma of loss (death of loved ones) provokes the fear of loneliness and confronts a person with a choice: to focus on the feeling of mourning and grief, or to leave it in the past.
• Relationship trauma (abuse, betrayal, or breaking up) provokes frustration and anger, and presents a person with a choice: not trust anyone else, or learn to trust and love again.
• The trauma of an irreparable mistake (an immoral act) provokes feelings of guilt and shame, and leaves a person with a choice to admit or not admit his responsibility for what he did.

What are the features of working with these types of trauma?

Knowing the key model of working with trauma (mature-adult part, painful-problematic, aggressive-controlling part), let us discuss with you what features of working with different types of trauma exist.

Existential trauma

One of the most effective constellations is confrontation with death. This is done as follows. The substitutes are placed in the working field of the arrangement: the “Client” figure, the “Life” figure and the “Death” figure. And in this space, the client's deputy is looking for his place. Very often, the ways of life and death are two figures that do not threaten, but help a person, take care of him, but in different ways. And then, in the process of placement, a number of interventions are applied, during which the client receives all available types of resources that help to make a turn towards life as a goal in the person's mind.

If a person is afraid of sudden death, we deduce from the client that part of him that is afraid of this, and the element-cause of this state (“something with which it is connected”). The reason may lie in the client's biographical experience, in the ancestral experience of ancestors (the death of a relative in a war), in the experience of previous incarnations. Depending on the cluster of the cause, the situation is processed by integrative methods of systemic constellation, NLP, Ericksonian hypnosis, procedural, provocative and body therapy, etc.

Indirect suggestions embedded in the stories and parables that the therapist tells the client work very well in this situation. For example, the change of seasons ("In the spring, the snow dies and turns into water") can symbolize the seasonality, temporality of all things. Death is renewal, transformation, transformation, it is simply a change in the form of existence, it is a new experience. Cyclicity, changing from one to another - this is natural and normal.

Examples from Michael Newton's The Journey of the Soul, The Purpose of the Soul, and Moody's Life After Death, Life After Life, and Where Dreams May Come can be very helpful in helping the client cope with the phenomenon of death. Books and films about post-death experiences, as well as stories from the experiences of the counselor and his clients can be very good at reassuring and setting the client up in a positive way. The client may have a cultural attitude towards death as something terrible, black, negatively colored, and when we introduce an understanding of cyclicality, metaphors of renewal, a story of soul travel, stories of magical gifts that ancestors give to their descendants after death - we are, in fact, we change the client's perception of the image of death to a more positive one.

The metaphor of life as a school works very well. According to this metaphor, we come to planet Earth in order to grow, develop, learn the most important things. For this, excellent conditions have been created on earth for training and passing the transfer exams. If the test is not passed, it remains for the next incarnation. In this metaphor, a person can incarnate on Earth in a variety of roles: beggar and rich, man and woman, free and slave, king and commoner. The essence of this movement from class to class of school is the enrichment of the experience of the soul, an increase in spiritual potential, the ability to love, etc.

So, before embarking on a constellation on the topic of life and death, you have to tell a lot of things to the client and agree on positions and views. First you need to place the landmarks, and then implement the decisions. It is important that the topic of life and death is worked out well enough by the constellator himself. When the constellator himself is calm and balanced about this topic, he will be able to help the client.

Sometimes you have to resort to provocative therapy. One day a girl comes to our class and declares from the doorway: “I want to die. Help me". The girl was wrapped in several blankets and several people sat on top of her. It's very hard. It's almost impossible to breathe. The girl, having fallen under such a load, as she screamed: "Get off me … I understood everything … I already want to live …" It was of course a very tough provocation, but the girl left us that evening much more cheerful.

In one of the "Thanatotherapy" techniques, a symbolic funeral is modeled. The client is placed in a symbolic coffin, the corresponding farewell speeches are pronounced over his body, he is closed, buried. The effect of the procedure is very interesting. The client comes into contact with the energy of death. And in this contact, everything is very serious. And when she touches him, he has all the "jokes aside!" He immediately understands: “It's not time yet! I have a lot to do. I will still live. I have someone I care about. I have something to live for."

After the therapeutic procedure, one of the depressed clients began to defend their rights, swear with others. This is actually a very good sign. The appearance of aggression in such patients means that life returns to them. This needs to be explained to the clients' relatives so that they support this healing process at home and react correctly. You can recall Cartman's triangle (rescuer - victim - aggressor). Fear of death is an over-emphasis on the victim's condition. For example, the client is too exhausted while saving others, falling into a state of passivity and fear. He can be distracted from the position of the victim by provoking a faster transition to the aggressive phase, awakening healthy anger. This is already a more resourceful role for the client. Or you can give an order to help others, even weaker ones. Sometimes it works very well too. But the main thing is to remove the systemic interweaving, due to which it is beneficial for the client to be a victim. This takes the client out of the plane of the triangle, out of the vicious circle to a new floor of life.

A small story from life. I once experienced not very comfortable sensations when I entered the local history museum. On display windows are photographs of all the workers of the plant in 1895, in 1913, etc. These are hundreds of faces of long-dead people looking at visitors from a photograph. It turned out to be too hard for me. Too much concentration of death energy. Therefore, photographs of the dead in the house are not very good for the living.

Another example is archeology. I have participated in several archaeological expeditions. It was interesting until the energy tied to ancient artifacts comes to visit you. "Hello, you were looking for something, we are here!" This is at least very uncomfortable. I remember one case, the head of the Baltic expedition gathered us around the fire in the evening at a new place and said: “Listen carefully, safety instructions. If a ghost comes to you at night, try to talk to him in an amicable way and explain that you want to sleep, and ask him not to interfere. If you don’t understand, send it in Russian foul language. If swearing does not help, here is a prayer to the Mother of God, to rewrite everyone, memorize and use if necessary. " I had a complete break in the template, and he had been digging antiquities for many years, and he had his own security system. Three levels.

Loss trauma (death of loved ones).

When a client comes to the therapist in a state of trauma of loss, his state resembles the state of the hero Vitsin between Morgunov and Nikulin in the "Caucasian Captive". He's on a stretch. The future is vague, and his consciousness convulsively clings to the old reality, to what was previously dear to him, tries to embrace the phantom, tries to maintain contact with what no longer exists. What is the therapist to do with it? How can you help adapt to your new life?

You can help him switch to planning for the future, to dreams.

You can put the figures of his children in the arrangement, so that he understands that there is someone to live for and there is someone to take care of. “It's worth living for the sake of children. Children need to be taken care of. Just imagine how much they need a father (or mother) …”These are peculiar phrases-axioms. It is impossible to argue with them. And the image of children and of what it is worth continuing to live for, very sobering up the client, takes him out of the trance of denial of life.

You can separate with the dead and turn to the future: “Rest in peace, and I will live on. Look at me kindly. Separation symbols can be very different. Seriousness and respect are very important in this ritual.

It is naive to believe that we influence the world of the dead by our words, actions and rituals. The psychological paradigm believes that by rituals of respect we regulate the world of the living, the projection, opinions, beliefs and attitudes of the living. In fact, the phenomenon of the relationship between the dead and the living is just a phenomenon, a phenomenon still incomprehensible to us. There is still little scientific evidence in this area. And for many people, relying on something that is incomprehensible, but time-tested and consecrated by tradition is safer than relying on meager scientific data.

When we were at Sai Baba's ashram in India, we went to the grave of his parents and hung a garland of flowers on the fence. As soon as we did this in broad daylight, a wave of hot heat poured over us, we just froze and almost without breathing felt a waterfall of celebration, tenderness and awe flowing through us. As the Lord kissed the crown of the head. And we returned from there in a state of happiness.

Sometimes, not knowing the essence and meaning of the ritual, simply repeating some incomprehensible actions after the people, you get very strong, phenomenal sensations. One of these episodes took place in Serbia. We learned the language of nonviolent communication. And by the middle of the day everyone was very tired. One of the participants noticed our general fatigue and suggested doing a little warm-up. We walked for 5 minutes in a round dance like in a kindergarten, four steps to one side, four to the other, four to the center, four outside, and so on for 5 minutes. There was no particular dynamics noticeable. But the result was simply amazing. I felt completely alert, full of energy, and worked great for a few more hours until the end of the day. I realized that at the moment of the round dance, something important had happened. I asked the participant about this, what is the point? How could this have happened? She told me that it was a small fragment of a ritual that the ancient Celts performed on March 21, greeting the sun and inviting its energies to the earth. In fact, without realizing it myself, blindly, for 5 minutes I participated in the ancient ritual of inviting the energies of the sun to Earth, and this gave me amazing, unforgettable sensations. Those. in 5 minutes of the ritual, the energy of the sun filled everyone, regardless of whether he knew the meaning or not. It turns out that you may not know the essence of the ritual, but get obvious effects. And in this sense, when we ask a client who is in the trauma of loss to say goodbye to the deceased, close him with a veil, take him to the world of the dead, close the door, draw a dividing line, we give him a message - everything is done correctly. The dead are all right. They are where they should be. The client no longer has negative projections. The gestalt is complete. We did everything we could for them.

One of the rather difficult situations is when a person did not have time and could not prepare for death due to its suddenness (accident, electric shock, etc.). Very often they spend some time with living relatives. They call them "rods". It is very important to help such deceased: call things by their proper names ("Dear grandmother, you died"), orientate, escort to the right place, make signs of respect, share with gratitude.

Church rituals are also great for helping the client in this work, if they are culturally familiar to him.

Relationship trauma

The most common relationship trauma situation is divorce, breakup. Accompanied by anger and frustration. “I hoped that I would be happy with him for 100 years, but he (she) took advantage of me and ran away to another. And I, as a depositor of a bank that has burst, invested, invested, but received nothing”. Disappointment is strong, and may be accompanied by a decision: “That's it! I won't trust anyone else! I won't open my heart to anyone else! " Or it may be accompanied by a requirement to the therapist as an omnipotent magician: "Give me my husband back!"

What can be done about this situation in the constellation? You can react with anger. Can look for reasons to justify each other: look, you were loaded with this, your partner - with this, that's why you couldn't be together. It's not someone's fault, but a misfortune. In practice, I had a case when the kindergarten situation influenced the sexual relationship between husband and wife. If we eliminate negative programs and do it symmetrically for both partners, and in addition learn to discuss problems together, in a respectful dialogue, much can be restored. This is a joint work, and the therapist will help you.

The idea that any relationship is symmetrical and reciprocal is very productive. A suicide person cannot enter into a long-term happy relationship with a life-lover and an optimist, free from negative programs. If two people come together, it means that the structure of their internal programs allows this union. One gear must fit the other gear. And if only one of the couple is treated, it can increase the asymmetry, and can lead to the final breakdown of the relationship. One - freed - ran to conquer the heights of success, and the other remained with his load in the pit. Therefore, if there is a desire to restore relations, it is very important to agree on parallel or simultaneous therapy of both partners.

If the restoration of the old relationship is not possible, you need to work on the attractiveness of the client for the new partner and the creation of new relationships. The goal in such work may be a new state: "I am an attractive man (I am an attractive woman)." Let me give you an example. A woman turned to me. When shaking hands, the hand is like a herring - wet and cold. Energy is zero. A very big question is how she walks and breathes in general. Request: “My husband went to his mistress. Help". For obvious reasons, there was no joint parallel work. We had work to improve our personal resource of attractiveness. After a few months of work and a series of constellations, the man returned home. By this time, this woman's handshake had become very warm, soft and energetic. And the energy level went up to 100%. Thus, one of the most important tasks of the counselor and therapist is to switch the client from the request "Give me back my husband (partner)" to the request "How to become the most attractive."

Another very important aspect of dealing with relationship trauma. It is impossible to give guarantees in this area. All the work is done by the client himself. The therapist is simply his assistant, guide, expert in the use of various instruments for change. The fact that a person will have more resources is true. But restoring old relationships or looking for new ones is up to the client himself.

Thus, in dealing with relationship trauma, you have to work very hard to form a positive image of yourself: “I am good”. And let's say we sorted out all the old disappointments and relationships, separated from our former husbands, lovers, so that a person would become free for new relationships. And it seems that the person became free for new relationships. And he lacks basic behavioral skills. He does not know how to get acquainted, communicate, kiss, invite to dance, look after. What to do? There is a huge layer of behavioral therapy, this is a long period of training and doing homework until the result. Systemic therapy and behavioral training are two sides of the coin. One must be accompanied by the other.

Another example from practice. One of the female clients complained about the lack of attention from men, and she herself posted her photos in a swimsuit on the Internet. In the arrangement, it turns out that the viewers of her photographs are 60-year-old men and, attention! - their wives. In fact, they had virtual sex with her, taking away the energy from her for a real relationship. There is only one recommendation in this case - remove photos from the network and seduce men, build relationships with them in reality, one-on-one.

Injury of a fatal mistake.

As an example, I will tell you the story of a 60-year-old man whose 80-year-old mother was seriously ill for a long time. The worst thing for him turned out to be not that she died, but that shortly before her death, he, thinking that she was asleep, discussed some topical issues related to her illness and a possible burial, in her room, in her room. And suddenly he notices that she is awake and hears everything, and tears are running down her cheeks. This was an irreparable mistake for him. The word is not a sparrow, if it flies out, you won't catch it. Talking about this, he literally burst into tears. It was the deepest remorse. And the inability to return everything to its original place, the inability to fix it.

Often an irreparable mistake for a person can be the fact of betrayal, unplanned pregnancy, abortion, an accident that resulted in the death of people. This situation provokes a strong feeling of guilt: “I am nobody, you can’t call me”, “I am to blame for everything,” “I have no right,” “I am slime on mud, on mold.” This is the most powerful inner self-restraint. A person does not take advantage of career opportunities, relationships, money only because of his feelings of guilt.

To understand the seriousness of the consequences of this trauma, imagine the situation. “Once upon a time there was a great surgeon who saved 50,000 people from certain death with his incomparable art. And 50,001 patients died on his operating table. And he gave up his profession as a surgeon and went into wanderings. And no one knows where he died. But he could save another 50,000 people from death. Thus, the trauma of a fatal mistake leads to ineffective decisions.

So, what if such a person comes to you? The first thing to do is to agree with the fact of what happened and accept your part of the responsibility. “What happened happened. And I really did it. " After a sincere admission of the facts, the fuss goes away. A person does not want to run and look for excuses. Energy is no longer wasted in vanity. And this energy is simply at his disposal, in his hands. Then you just need to turn this energy into a positive constructive channel. "In memory of this mistake, in memory of the victims, I will do a lot of good for others." “The past cannot be corrected, but the future can be created. And I’ll do it.” For example, in memory of aborted children, you can participate in charity events in favor of disabled children and orphans. The main thing is to translate this activity into concrete plans, and plans before implementation.

“Agreeing with powerlessness” Instead of regret and guilt about abortion, you just need to honestly and simply tell yourself: “I really didn't have the resources to have a healthy baby back then.” In fact, this is a way out of the position of self-accusation, like a worn-out record.

There are many proverbs "If you do not sin, you will not repent." "Only the one who does nothing is not mistaken." As in the joke about the trolleybus driver, whose passengers prayed earnestly to God when he was driving, the logic of events may be different. From our point of view, something may be unfair, but from another point of view, it is very good for us and our development. Considering the situation from different perspectives helps to rethink the situation and get out of the paralysis of guilt.

If a person has done something for which he must go to jail, then it is fairer and better for his entire family system that he goes to jail. I know of a case when a high school student who drove in their car without the permission of his parents killed a man. His father connected contacts, gave bribes, saved his son from prison. His son, remaining at large, began to behave in such a way that his relatives were sorry thirty-three times. All structures of success in this family have overlapped. And in the arrangement, we tested different solutions. The only option that leads to positive changes is if the son takes responsibility for the death of another person.

Another story about an irreparable mistake. Two girls got pregnant by the guys. In one case, despite their young age, they had a wedding, now both work, two children, a normal family. The parents told the other guy: "These are not your problems, but hers." Now the situation is catastrophic, the young man is a chronic alcoholic, no specialty, no permanent relationship. And such stories need to be told to people. Because very often people come to a psychotherapist so that he would relieve them of responsibility. But in reality it is impossible.

So there are many types of psychic herbs. But for each injury, there are approaches and tools for resolving them, and not only constellations.