2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
When it comes to self-esteem, most often people mean an underestimated manifestation of this quality, but it is no secret to anyone that an overestimated self-esteem can cause many problems in life. The reasons for the distortion of self-esteem in a person can be several, this is the influence of the immediate environment, and the personality itself. Today, the conversation is about how a person can raise self-esteem to himself to "sky-high heights", and without having any objective reasons for this. It is necessary to accept the fact that the “crown on the head” has a very strong effect on the development of the personality, and, simply put, it inhibits it.
Inflated self-esteem is, in fact, a compensatory mechanism that allows a person to minimize the consequences of any bad experience. In the future, instead of solving the problem, as others do: they analyze the situation, find their mistakes, change the way of achieving the result and begin to act again, does nothing of the kind. Having once received little approval and recognition of his merits, he blames only circumstances and other people for all the failures. He continues to think about himself that he is smarter, more talented, more beautiful and better than others, and only on the basis of this deserves, by default, much more. For example, a person is told that he has good enough data in a certain area or his skills in a certain activity are good. Naturally, implying that a person needs to continue to work in this direction. Especially if he has the intention to continue to engage and achieve results in this segment. Some, having received this kind of encouragement, begin to justify their further inaction in terms of development by the fact that they allegedly do not really want it or they have lost the motivation to achieve results, but this is not always the case. The person has already received the approval he already needs, self-esteem has increased, and in order for it to remain at the same level, the person begins to make attempts to increase this approval. He tries to communicate that he has been praised to as many people as possible, spending a huge amount of time and effort on this. Very indicative in this case is the dialogue between the king and the innkeeper from Schwartz's play "An Ordinary Miracle":
-No, this hunter no longer hunts.
- What does he do?
- Fights for his glory. He has already obtained 50 diplomas confirming that he is famous.
- What does something?
- Resting. Fight for your glory! What could be more tiring?
The “crown on the head” is a manifestation of a personal imbalance between what a person thinks about himself and what he actually can do. In a relationship, it might look like this. A person initially draws a picture in his head, where everything is perfect and only what he invented for himself happens. Moreover, no deviations are allowed, otherwise the person's EGO will suffer, and no one wants to suffer. But reality tends to fall short of human expectations. And then the following happens: the relationship did not work out not because the person wanted an ideal, but because the other is to blame. It is because of him or her that everything went wrong, and plus all sorts of circumstances (relatives, friends, etc.), which were not in the original picture at all, are to blame for everything. At such moments, a person decides that he needs attention from the outside, approval, and he tries in every way to get it. It turns out that a person strives to feed his illusion. Relationships as such may no longer be important to him, the protection of his EGO comes to the fore, people defend him very zealously. It is extremely difficult to live with such a person.
It is always very painful to give up what you have invented for yourself, but living in an illusory world is not an option either. The choice always remains with the person himself, it is important to understand that a fictional crown on his head does not at all make a person king in the real world.
Live with joy! Anton Chernykh.
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