2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Many people are worried about the following questions:
- What are negative attitudes
- How to find negative attitudes
- How to work through these settings
- How to support yourself so that the settings do not come back again.
- What obstacles can be on the way to "take root" of a new belief
Let's figure it out sequentially.
1. What are negative attitudes?
These are beliefs. preventing us from living, developing, moving towards the goal, building relationships, feeling happy, enjoying life. They are also called Limiting Phrases.
From the example, you will now immediately see which settings are in the way:
- I cannot be happy
- Everything in life is given by hard work
- Life is a test
- Setting goals is useless, you can't achieve everything.
- All men are goats
- Only losers get married
- Only fools are happy
- I'm a mediocre loser
- I have no right to be wrong
- think only of yourself, don't listen to anyone
- You are as bad as your father
- You will be as unhappy as your mother
- All misfortunes come from money
- Children are torment
- It's scary to give birth
- Being a mother is a huge responsibility
- I will never be a leader
- I have no ability
And many, many others. All these negative attitudes sit firmly in our head and dictate what to do. We completely unconsciously follow the message that this attitude conveys to us.
While the installation did not interfere, we did not notice it.
But when events occur in our life that clearly do not contribute to a positive life, when relationships are collapsing all the time, there is no money, we do not achieve anything, we often quarrel with people, we cannot get pregnant, get married, get married - then we pay attention to ourselves and trying to find "what's stopping me?"
And at this moment it is quite possible to stumble upon a negative attitude.
2. How to find negative attitudes
1. It is quite possible to do it yourself.
In order to find this phrase, it is best to devote some of your time to this procedure, to focus on yourself, on the issue that worries you the most and the solution of which is very important for you.
Take a notebook and start writing down those phrases that you most often use when making excuses, when you want to prove the opposite (on a specific topic that worries you). Phrases that limit your actions, slow down actions, take some steps, warn you, save you from trouble and misfortune.
Remember what your parents often told you about this topic. You can even start a conversation in them on this topic, and you will hear their message to you, which is likely to contain a negative attitude.
2. Consult a specialist (psychologist, coach)
In the course of the conversation, asking you certain questions, the specialist will hear a phrase that you will periodically pronounce. By intonation, emotional coloring, you can understand how this phrase affects you.
With the help of clarifying questions, discussing this phrase, the specialist will be able to understand whether it is your attitude, how it interferes with you, what exactly happens in your life when you use this attitude.
Thus, the specialist helps the person to identify the installation.
3. How to work through negative attitudes
There are many techniques for working out negative attitudes (beliefs, limitations). Everything can be found on the Internet.
What you can do yourself.
Take that same notebook and start working on a specific setup.
Why is it important to write down? This is how you will see your work - and this is very important. Since often people devalue what they have already done and think that they have not made any progress, and because of this they slide back and launch another setting "I can not do anything", "I can't do anything", "I'm a loser ". And then you will find yourself in a vicious circle where attitudes command your life, not you.
Having written out the installation, you need to say it out loud, while listening to your body, feel:
- how does each word resonate within you?
- What do you feel?
These sensations must be written down: the word is the sensation, in which part of the body it is, what emotions it evokes.
These are mostly negative emotions. Accordingly, if the emotions are negative, then the attitude (belief) is clearly not positive and clearly interferes with you. So you don't need it.
But somehow you got it, so you needed it and protected you from something, protected you.
It is important to understand that you cannot fight attitudes. They need to be accepted and replaced by others.
To do this, you select a new positive attitude that will help you in your question. The wording should be clear, clear to you. When pronouncing a new attitude, you need to feel it with your whole body, every word. If at least some word does not "fit", does not cause positive emotions, does not find a response in the body, it must be replaced and selected until each word responds with positive emotions and sensations in the body.
So, a new positive belief is a belief that is completely consistent with your vision of your future, every word of which resonates in your body and evokes positive emotions.
Write down the positive new belief in your notebook. Write down the emotions and feelings you experience when you speak out the belief.
Your new belief is your new affirmation for every day.
Why do you need to feel a negative and positive attitude in your body?
All our emotions sit in our body, and while they are sitting there, we involuntarily obey them.
Negative emotions get in our way, we don't need them. Therefore, one must get rid of them. (DO NOT fight!). Once you've written down your feelings from a negative attitude, you can work through that emotion, pull it out of you, and say goodbye to it. Then she will not sit and interfere with the "engraftment" of a new positive belief.
In the very empty place where the negative emotion was, you will put positive emotions from a new positive belief!
If you do not fully work out and remove negative emotions from the previous negative belief, then negative emotions will continue to interfere with you, they will in every possible way deny and prevent the new belief.
You can do this work yourself if you understand how to work with the body.
But, of course, it’s best to go to a specialist who can competently work with the body and replace the emotions associated with beliefs.
In my consultations, I often use bodywork.
Here is an example of one of the latest demo tutorials
Each such consultation takes place in a very friendly, supportive environment, carefully approaching the person's emotions.
4. How to support yourself so that the settings do not come back again
Writing a new belief in a notebook is your daily affirmation.
Read the belief and write down what emotions it evokes, what you want to do when you speak this belief. What thoughts come to mind?
First, write down everything that comes to mind, then structure.
Then draw up a plan of action from this. Re-read it every day, reflect on it. When the checklist is confident and makes you want to take action, write down your first steps right now. What are you ready to do now?
Each day, write down what you have done to bring this new belief into practice in your life.
Do everything to make your new belief work for you!
It is important at this time to surround yourself with positive emotions, to communicate with people who will support you, help you in your endeavor. Listen to supporting programs, read a book on your subject.
Meditation, relaxation, sports, walks in the woods or parks, swimming help a lot.
5. What obstacles can arise during the "engraftment" of a new belief?
It is possible that there are unprocessed negative emotions left after a negative belief. They remained "dissatisfied", so they make themselves felt and continue to interfere.
The wrong new positive belief has been chosen. No response.
New positive emotions did not take the place of negative ones.
There is no consistency in the work on "engrafting" a new belief. You have lived with the old belief for many years. And just like that, overnight to part with him. hoping for a miracle is impossible! It needs to be worked with and also supported, as you previously supported the old.
In this situation, the help of a specialist will be very useful, since he will not only be able to control you at least twice a month, he will be able to understand what exactly is going wrong. What thoughts get in the way? Where does the failure occur? Will guide, support, help.
It is very important to feel support during this period so as not to roll back.
Wish you achieve your goals!
Natalia Trukhina, family psychologist and coach
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