Why Trust A Psychologist

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Psychological groups in FB are an eternal source of inspiration. Recently, one girl wrote that she is afraid to build a trusting relationship with a psychologist, because for him this relationship is just another case - he listened and forgot. And the people supported - they say, really, nafig get closer to a completely stranger, and even for their own money without a guarantee of the result.

In this situation, everything is fine - especially its typicality. I'm not a supporter of avatar diagnoses, but every word here is a request for therapy. In the text right on the surface there are problems with trust and avoidance of intimacy (why even get close to someone), inability to build boundaries (the psychologist is someone else's uncle for money, but at the same time we have a "relationship"), difficulties with self-identification and self-esteem (depreciation myself - “listened and forgot”), rivalry with potential “other” objects for the psychologist's “motherly” love (“another case” - read, I'm not the most important among other clients”), anxiety (“love”for money), fear rejection (worked the session and forgot !!!) and so much more. In general, everything is so tasty that your hands itch straight.

Sometimes it is difficult for a person to understand where he ends and another begins. This is especially difficult for children of overly anxious mothers (“there are only enemies around”, “don’t sit on your knees - they will rape”, “don’t take the candy - they will steal it”) and disliked kids who are looking for a “daddy” in any passing “uncle” or in any beautiful a woman - "mother". Hence the difficulties with defining and building boundaries and, as a result, with trust. Indeed, how do you decide how close you can allow an “outsider” to get to you before he becomes “your own”? And most importantly - what is the consequence? What if, after the rapprochement, this significant person leaves again? The fear of this pain is unbearable - both for those who have already experienced betrayal once, and for those who only fantasized about it.

As adults, these people rush between merging and rejection, unable to maintain balance. Where is the line between total control and complete indifference? Between living the life of another and not being able to accept elementary care (hello, modern sick interpretation of feminism)? The tangle is so entangled that complete external dependence becomes a passive form of control, and one partner, like a liana, strangles the other with his interpretation of "love".

The inability (inability?) To understand and, as a consequence, to accept oneself inevitably leads to problems of self-identification and self-esteem. How can one describe himself who does not feel either his own body, much less internal emotions? Only through the perception of others, occasionally catching their own reflection in their eyes. But you know that there is no more distorting mirror than someone else's opinion. So, instead of an objective clear image, a person receives a "return" in the form of other people's complexes and projections. But projection is, by definition, negative traits, which we cannot accept in ourselves, therefore we prefer to shift them onto other people's shoulders. And so in a circle. Self-assessment cannot be outsourced. This is the little thing that makes us truly whole.

I can continue indefinitely, but I'm afraid it's not worth doing this as part of a popularization article. However, in the end, I will definitely say about the most important thing - communication with a psychologist does not imply the merger and development of emotional dependence. This is not a love relationship or close friendship, but a therapeutic alliance. And the specialist's task is not to love you, but to provide constructive, safe and non-judgmental interaction within the session in order to resolve a specific request. Each case is different. Each client is special. There is no place for comparison and competition. A professional psychologist is able to ensure complete acceptance of each client, no matter how many of them he has. And in any modality, be it psychoanalysis or gestalt, the therapist will follow certain rules that do not allow the client to "fall" into emotional dependence. Psychologists are specially trained in containment - the ability to accept other people's emotions, calm down and give the resource necessary for work. And trusting the chosen specialist (exclusively within the framework of therapy and on business) is necessary to make it easier to open up and throw out your pain or voice deep fears.

I will definitely write separately about the "result guarantee", which usually worries potential customers. And for those who are already in therapy, a friendly advice: please, if you experience a feeling of anxiety like the one described above, take it to your psychologist - this is important. Good luck!