2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Many of us have this thought in our heads: trust makes a person weak. Do not trust anyone. Tricks are everywhere. Trust but check.
And all these thoughts are reasonable and justified if you work as a lawyer or an unscrupulous partner encroaches on the business project of your life.
But there is also the opposite way of looking at things.
I noticed a proportional interdependence among my friends and acquaintances: the more distrust a person has towards others, the less happy he is in most aspects of human life.
There is a simple everyday example that will tell you how openly you are towards the world. What thoughts overtake you in the first place if in the high-rise building where you live, suddenly, on Monday morning, they turn off cold and hot water? Would you rather call the “zhek's” hotline to report a problem and thereby speed up its solution, or tell employees that they know what they are doing, and why am I paying money at all?
Why is that?
Our relationships with other people fundamentally affect our perception of ourselves and the world around us. The Danish Institute for Happiness has determined that the kinder, happier and stronger our relationships with others, the happier a person feels. The conclusion suggests itself that the quality of our relationships with other human beings is decisive in how we evaluate the external world and ourselves as a constituent unit of it.
You've probably seen how gullible children are. Have you seen how a kid with a radiant smile stretches out his chubby hands to you? How his round face lights up with light, as soon as your joke accidentally triggers, and the baby readily looks into your eyes: waiting for you to make another funny face?
We come into this world clean and spotless, like a first-grader's notebook for September 1st. Mistrust syndrome - and I would like this quality to be elevated to the rank of conditions bordering on personality disorder, because it often provokes it - develops in a person with age, often as a result of negative experience of interaction with other people. The seeds of mistrust are readily accepted by the soil of a human being - and now, through the crystal clear prism of human perception, the root of mistrust begins to squeeze through - and as a result of jealousy, aggression and suspicion.
Why do you need to learn to trust people?
Interestingly, by gaining trust again, we open up a whole world of horizons. Few of us get the opportunity to alter the system of world order radically. Few can overfill the education system, although many of us understand how destructively grandfather's methods affect the fragile psyche of first-graders. Few can deliver a speech at the podium and take their amateur radio program to the top of the BBC rankings. However, having gained trust in other people, we automatically change the world for the better.
Why is everyone in my family good, and why is my colleague a kind of reptile? What happens if you get into the head of this colleague and look at yourself from his personal position? Take a look at yourself from the outside, so to speak?
Trust has to be learned again. This is especially true for us - the inhabitants of the post-Soviet area, always ready to complain about the unfair attitude of the state towards us and outweighing the responsibility for our own poverty on the shoulders of bribe-takers and parasites.
Trusting people, we begin to build good, sincere relationships. The attitude of kindness is always more beneficial than the attitude of prejudice. A healthy dose of alertness and common sense is needed and should be present in the minds of every person. However, from an adult perspective, if there is an opportunity to take your relationships with other people to the next level and “season” your current life with an element of happiness, why not start moving in that direction today?
Lilia Cardenas, psycholinguist, writer, English teacher
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