2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
According to the Model of Commitment and Acceptance Therapy, one of the reasons for the decrease in psychological flexibility, and therefore of unhappiness, is the attempt to control what, in principle, cannot be controlled. Hence one of the principles of TVET - "control is a problem, not a solution."
This is largely due to the socio-cultural context and focuses of the language about what is "good" and "bad", as well as ideas about their own strengths and possibilities of control.
What is control? This behavior is aimed at controlling, limiting, the formation of any actions or behavior. It has a purpose and it takes effort. For example, if you don’t like the smell in the kitchen, you can throw out the trash and clean up. That is, you can use your hands and feet to manipulate objects of the external environment and improve the quality of life. Behavioral therapy is based on philosophy and theory that are not interested in the secret and immeasurable "energies". Only manipulated variables.
When does control work? One of the main psychological purposes of control is to control the environment, one's own behavior, and sometimes the behavior of others. Sometimes, control can indirectly affect the internal state, regulating emotions and physical pain. For example, if you control the load in sports and do not drive yourself to exhaustion. Either you avoid or escape dangerous situations. Control can also work well if you are already experiencing pain and are taking aspirin or going to the doctor.
When does control fail? Control becomes a problem if the efforts that are spent on it exceed the satisfaction of the results, it becomes too much, and its form is rigid and not suitable for the current situation.
For example, a girl who is so afraid of gaining weight that she sharply restricts herself in food on one side (reduces the energy supplied) and works out for three hours a day in the gym (increases energy expenditure) in order to control weight and self-awareness and at the same time gets out of at home only to work and to the gym. In the case of such an anxiety disorder, the problem is that control does not work under the given conditions, since it does not bring the desired results, and most importantly, the chosen method worsens the condition and feeling of oneself due to increasing exhaustion. And if it partially works, then for a very short time. And if you look from the point of view of behavioral therapy, then the problem is not in its weight and not even in self-awareness, but in the fact that anxiety is “unpleasant”, and “unpleasant” means “bad”. And then the girl's goal becomes the request "to get rid of anxiety." Which, obviously, is impossible, because anxiety is a natural, inherent in nature, reaction, like any other feeling. And that means getting rid of it is an impossible request. But! There is one point - the alarm function. The problem begins not when we worry about a possible real threat, but when anxiety becomes an excessive consequence of our brain functioning as a "predictive machine about what if …?" From this position, the girl’s anxiety may sound like “if I don’t 90x60x90”, then no one will be friends with me.”That is, not her real weight or size of clothes may be a problem, but her anxiety about being left without friends. and Obligations, special attention is paid to language tricks (language and behavior influence each other). And the formula "I can hang out and make friends because anxiety about my own weight and size prevents me" turns into "if I did not have anxiety, then I would hang out and meet new interesting people.”And this is a completely different request - not about controlling and relieving anxiety, but about developing skills and ways to meet and communicate with people.
Why is controlling feelings always a problem?
Because effort is fundamentally confused with our assessment of the world. We make more efforts to get what we like, and what we don't like we try to avoid or ignore. And these behavioral strategies generally don't require our conscious control to be implemented. Behavioral Therapy of Acceptance and Commitment comes from several assumptions based on scientific theories:
- Sense control is an illusion. They constantly change, arise and fade, color our mood. This is a biological given.
- Emotions cannot be turned on and off. Otherwise, we would fall in love on the whistle and stop loving, rejoice and grieve, get angry and calm down. In reality, this is only available with medications.
- Attempting to control unwanted feelings and thoughts, according to research, leads to their multiplication. The logic is simple: “I have to deal with anxiety.
But there is good news! Instead of emotional experience, we can control our BEHAVIOR! After all, the problem is not that we got angry, but that we crippled someone out of anger. Behavior, not feelings, will be judged. And an attempt to control rage not only does not work ("calm down!"), But on the contrary intensifies it. So the first step is to accept the fact that "I am furious" and consciously relate to the experience. Paradoxically, the first step towards emotional regulation of unpleasant feelings is to accept the fact that they exist and are inevitable. This gives us the opportunity to consciously meet with them and choose HOW I want to act with them, WHAT BEHAVIOR to respond to these feelings.
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