2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Have you noticed how often we give up the good today in order to enjoy it later?
My father-in-law and mother-in-law are professional hunters and during the hunting season they often spoil us with game. The other day, my mother-in-law gave us a wild duck carcass, and I decided to cook it in vegetables.
“Why are you cooking duck now? This is for New Years!”- asked her husband in surprise.
The same surprise showed on my face.
And why exactly on New Year's?
Why can't you cook it today?
Why postpone pleasure until later?
Or, "if we redo everything today, there will be nothing left for tomorrow"?
As in the film, I mentally go back to childhood and clearly see a picture when, on the eve of the New Year holidays, the refrigerator was filled with goodies, but you can't eat them, because they are for a festive table. The same story was repeated on the eve of birthdays and other major holidays.
And which of us did not have tea sets in the house, from which they drank tea only on major holidays? Or maybe they never drank at all, he just stood in the sideboard for the interior.
Or clothing for a "special occasion"?
Who is fortunate enough not to "plow" all summer in the garden in order to have "actually grown" vegetables in winter?
The article, of course, is not about food, but about how from childhood we get used to deny ourselves pleasure now for the sake of illusory benefits in the future.
As masochists, we believe that if today you bend a little and endure, then tomorrow justice will prevail and everything will be fine. But tomorrow never comes, because every new day is “today”.
Patience and limitations are becoming the norm. And if there are moments of hedonism and permissiveness, then we experience a sticky shame for our own selfishness and cowardice.
The conviction firmly sits in our heads that blessings do not fall from heaven just like that, a good life must be earned, one must sacrifice oneself. We live in anticipation of the next difficulties, mentally being in the future and never in the present moment.
We believe in the illusion that life is fair. That someone will reward for patience and humility and, as in a fairy tale, good will triumph over evil. We are afraid to admit that life is a continuous uncertainty and many events happen simply because they have to happen. And if the world gives joy today, we put it off until later. Then we go on vacation, then we do education, then we rest - all later.
I remember my first psychology teacher. She was about 70, and she told us how at home she drinks an hour from the most beautiful cups, eats from the best plates, puts on expensive jewelry not for special occasions, but according to her mood. She was a graceful woman who was always elegantly dressed, with beautifully styled hair. And also a slight smile always shone on her lips, and her eyes shone with kindness. She lived in the present moment and did not wait for invitations, fortunately, did not look for reasons for him.
The truth is, we don't know what will happen next and can never predict. We can only know with absolute precision what is happening to us right now.
I absolutely know that there will always be dishes on the New Year's table that will remain untouched. This fan of food will go to the refrigerator in the morning, where it will slowly "die", and in a few days will be in the trash bin.
And so with many. Clothes go out of fashion, dishes break, jewelry gathers dust in boxes.
What we once denied ourselves suddenly turns out to be out of place or at the wrong time. And not so desirable anymore.
Happiness does not happen yesterday or tomorrow. It is possible only today and lies in simple details. In a dinner prepared for family or in aromatic coffee at dawn. Or in a gentle smile that we give a loved one in advance, without waiting for a special and suitable occasion.
Don't put off until tomorrow what needs to be done now.
Greet today with gratitude. Wear the finest beads, drink tea from the finest cups, enjoy your vacation, and take your time to do everything today to enjoy some peace later.
Then - this is a comforting form never.
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