The Truth Of Desires

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Is this a psychologist's office? want to address the problem of greedy and stingy men in my life. Got it! How much does the session cost? Yeah, right now! I can't spend so much money on myself!

Well, dear others, for us, the readers, a psychological "mini-session" has already taken place, isn't it? Some things that are obvious to others are a "sealed secret" for people in question.

The stories that our environment is just a mirror of our attitude towards ourselves is reflected not only in the advice of psychologists. Here are the words of Erich Maria Remarque, which could be the answer to the girl's problem: "A woman saving on herself causes the only desire - to save on her."

And in the same direction, the anecdote that Borya will never offer a girl a glass of cheap cognac, if she already agrees.

But the question is not so obvious:

"When will the groom appear on the horizon?"

"What are you doing to make it appear?"

"Well, my mother says that I am in the brides market, not a girl already, it would be time to get married."

"What do you want?"

“And I'm still studying. I want a career. And one more education. I dont know"

“What does your dad tell you? Career - is it daddy's "worries"?"

“But I don’t listen to my dad, he’s generally for us, no one can call him.” Mom and I don't love him, we just hate him."

"Is your mom and dad unhappy marriage?"

“We would have been better off without dad. He's all dirty, messy, and mom has a lot of washing and cooking worries. And he also forbids her fitness and makes up."

"So does your mom want the same fate for you?"

"No, what are you, she wants me to have everything for love"

“How is this implemented? What does it mean - for love?"

I do not know. I just know how much I don’t want to.”

“It turns out that“staying in girls”is the surest way not to repeat the fate of your parents so far?

«…..»

Making a wish, and even setting a goal, we usually want something to come into our life. "I want a groom, I want money, a dacha, a car, a cow and the like." That is, we do not want to influence the reality, the reality surrounding us. Doesn't this remind you of requests of the type “relatives got it, they need to be corrected, but I'm fine”?

When in the popular literature on psychology the authors write about “your true desire, in the presence of which the whole universe rushes to fulfill it,” something like the following is implied. With your inner attitude to certain determinants that determine your life, you notice those "signs of the universe" that confirm this very mode of perception of reality.

In other words, a bunch of very different events are happening around us, however, our brain "snatches" out of the general "chaos" those events that correspond to our current state. Our dominants of the perception of reality.

The girl, tired of the niggardly, herself lives in a mode of economy. I bet she sees all the sale announcements and maybe prides herself on not wasting an extra penny.

And a girl who “wants to get married”, or rather “so that a groom appears on the horizon,” sees the men around her in a different mode. As competitors in business, as possible assistants in getting a prestigious job, as teachers.

These same men can be seen by another girl, her classmate, as potential suitors if she is in the state of the "bride", and not in the state of the "careerist".

It's like in that parable about the same street, where a young man with a bouquet under the clock sees the blue sky, and a tramp sees a dropped coin and the shoes of passers-by.

We choose, we see only those possibilities, we knock only on those doors that we are able to perceive from our current state.

Do you remember this advice? "Make a wish in the present tense and act as if you already have it." Council, which sent into a stupor "misunderstandings" a lot of enthusiasts who repeated affirmations about wealth, happiness and health. Well, how can you say “I have a lot of money” when there are real holes in my pockets? And how to say that “I have a fiancé” when there is complete calm on the horizon?

We say "I want", and some part of our psyche immediately notes that we just do not have this. And, therefore, desire is not ours. Not true, that is, but someone else's. Our desires are always based on what we ALREADY have. In the council, from my point of view, "horse and cart" are interchanged. Desires are fulfilled based on what we have. Based on who we are at this moment in our life.

What does the girl have? The desire to study and find a prestigious job. Therefore, the girl is a "careerist". Her true desires at this point in time will be those that coincide with the image of the "careerist" drawn by the girl herself. If, in her understanding, a girl who is building her career is slim, successful, rich, has a car, a secretary and a driver, her true desires will be harmony, success, and so on. And she will receive them easily, since they correspond to her condition. What she HAS.

It turns out that our condition is that important key to "making dreams come true"?

As the saying goes, “if you can solve a problem, then this is not a problem for you, and if you cannot, then this is not your problem,” and about desires. Perhaps, since they are not being performed, they are not yours?

What are you willing to give up for these desires? Will you carry their "load" when they are fulfilled? For a "careerist" girl to get married is to step on the throat of her own song. Unless she admits the possibility of a marriage in which her spouse supports her ambitions and furthers her career.

Thus, the entire totality of your desires can be "fit" into one definition only: "who I am" or "who I want to become, based on what I have." What I have are abilities, inclinations, skills and so on. It's pretentious to say - Purpose.

And then, it is worthwhile to evaluate your resources competently, so as not to get into a mess. So, roughly: Adam woke up in paradise in the morning, patted himself on the sides, and feels - not a single rib is in place!

- Lord, what's wrong with me?

- And who, having bitten the fermented grapes yesterday, yelled: "girls to me!"

This is what we would do if fulfilled desires would destroy our usual life? We can do without ribs?

We see in the world around us what allows us to see our model of reality. according to the filters of our perception. And the dominants of perception are created by ourselves, often unconsciously, since they are often laid down in early childhood. If we did not have the dominant perception of reality, we would see all the chaos, all the layers of what is happening, we would not isolate important events for ourselves.

Using them, each of us sees separate fragments of reality that imitate its integrity. The bride girl sees the groom market, and the career girl sees the labor market.

Thus, I speak in my article about the desire not to have, but the desire “to become in order to have” as more effective. And yet, probably, some of the readers still have the question of how to find out that the desire to become someone is personal, deep, and not imposed by society.

After all, socially approved desires for success and prosperity also relate to desires such as being "a lawyer, economist, accountant, married, being a mother" and so on.

The answer to this question lies in the plane of synchronicity of events described by K. G. Jung. If a series of amazing coincidences appear in your life, pointing in one direction, most likely, the unconscious dominants of the perception of reality are "to blame" for this. It is yours, in contrast to those learned consciously in early childhood in the process of upbringing. Being aware of them is the key to learning how to use them.

In other words, if you go to a bookstore for a legal reference book, and you yourself hang out at the counter with fashion magazines, and immediately you come across an advertisement for a competitive selection in a model house, and you accidentally found a professional prototype, a gift from a friend on the DR, it is worth thinking about the question of who you really are. And what are your true desires.

Yours Irina Panina.

Together we will find the path to your hidden possibilities.