2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
When it comes to romance on the side, women and men perceive cheating differently and cheat due to different motives.
Three main reasons pushing a man to cheat:
1. For men, sex itself is important. For many of the stronger sex, a love affair means breaking the monotony of an established, but everyday life associated with work, home, wife and children.
2. Family life is unsuccessful, there are too many quarrels, and then the romance becomes an outlet where there are no conflicts and you can regain a sense of control over the situation.
3. There are such men who are sure that connections on the side are quite acceptable. This is part of their value system. It is a mistake to expect that Don Juan will change their habits. If your husband was Don Juan before marriage, the chances of him becoming an exemplary husband are slim.
There are three main reasons pushing a woman to cheat:
1. They are looking for something that their own husbands are not able to give them: a special attentive attitude, tenderness, deep communication.
2. A birthday after 30 brings stress to many women, and in this case, cheating for a woman is a way to make sure that she is still desirable, beautiful and attractive.
3. The crisis of family relations. The woman has the feeling that the man has abandoned her, she wants revenge and goes to treason.
Mythical attitudes, principles, values in the family that lead to adultery:
- There is no family without love!
- Love till death!
- We are free individuals.
- Husband and wife are two halves of one whole.
- Marriage is a voluntary union.
- The main thing in a family is children.
- Ashamed what people will say?
- In our family, no one got divorced.
- Love me that I love you.
- Do not wash dirty linen in public.
- Love is love, and sex is sex.
There is no treason where harmony prevails in family relations.
Harmony is complete understanding, love and trust.
Therefore:
The family is based on trust, which means that it is better not to sow the seed of suspicion and not invent reasons for jealousy and imaginary deception.
It is important to respect and support your spouse in their hobbies, interests, work, and other concerns.
It is important to monitor your appearance, to include creativity in everyday life, on plans, on dreams.
It is important to periodically walk together to memorable places for you, to make annual trips, at least out of town, to nature or to a sanatorium, etc.
It is important to be attentive to each other, not to kill love with pride, prejudice and other people's gossip.
What to do if cheating happened?
A family that has reworked the experience of cheating correctly goes to a new level of its development.
There are people who, in principle, cannot forgive betrayal, no matter what it may be. If you cannot forgive, do not forgive, do not force yourself. Go away.
If you are internally sure that the betrayal of your husband (wife) is a mistake in which he (she) terribly regrets, then there are options:
1. To go through the betrayal and all the unpleasant moments associated with it, you should be together, and not alone. Talk to your husband (wife). Discuss the problems that exist in your relationship that may have directly or indirectly caused the betrayal.
2. Make it clear that there will be no forgiveness the second time. Show that you are in pain, but, at the same time, do not intend to tolerate this attitude in the future.
3. The culprit must admit his guilt: "I am guilty" and bear the punishment associated with responsibility in the family. "I will atone, I will build a house for us."
And if the betrayal is not obvious?
To preserve the relationship - your actions:
Do not refuse bed
Do not abruptly violate the order of family life
Stop talking about cheating
Protect children from conflict
Reduce control over the spouse, granting more freedoms
Increase your autonomy and independence
When building relationships - a joint visit to a family psychologist
The most important thing is the weather in the house … And any family crisis can be easily resolved if you really have a desire to keep your family together.
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