About The Harm Of Trust

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Often psychologists say about trust, that, like, you need to trust the world and people, and all that jazz.

I disagree.

If you leave this phrase in this form, it turns out to be sheer garbage. I believe the second part needs to be added to this setup:

- And sometimes you have to distrust people.

Then it will be honest and somehow … realistic or something.

On the contrary, I sometimes have to teach people not to trust others. Here's how in this tutorial series:

- I don't know what to do, my husband beats me!

- To begin with, to part ways and not to meet with him one-on-one in any case.

- I see, thanks.

A week later.

- I don't know what to do, he beat me again!

- Disperse and not meet one on one.

- I have left. He came with flowers and asked for forgiveness! I thought that this would not happen again and returned.

- What is your confidence based on? He went to be treated? Signed up for a psychotherapist?

- No, I didn't. Got it, thanks.

A week later.

- I don't know what to do, my husband beats me!

- You seem to have parted ways?

- He again came with flowers, again asked for forgiveness. He was so pathetic, he was so lonely and I believed him.

- And how many more times does this have to be repeated for you to stop believing in words and see reality? If a person is not in control, he can promise anything. And you divide these promises by 100.

- Well, it turns out he is deceiving me?

- The point is not even that it is deceiving. Maybe he makes promises sincerely. Only he cannot contain them. So do not ask for such promises, do not listen to them and do not reckon with them.

An adult should not trust (trust) everyone unconditionally. On the contrary, not trusting people is one of the most important ways to take care of yourself. If a person is cheating, don't trust him. If he's unreliable, don't trust him. If you see that it is not working in your best interests, do not trust it.

An adult knows how to take care of himself, including the ability to distinguish when to trust him and when not. Don't try to trust everyone, it's somehow … childish or something.

When psychologists talk about trust, they are talking about basic trust in the world. But this is not about trusting all people. Basic trust in the world is an inner feeling that you can live in this world, that it has everything for me that I need. This is not at all about the fact that the world is good and kind. The world is different. And in him in such a way (even when he is not very kind) you can live, because I believe that everything I need is here for me. An adult knows how to take care of himself, not because the world is kind to him, but because he knows how to take care of himself.

Take care of yourself;)