About Trust

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

While we pose the question in such a way that trust in a person is our inner confidence that a person will always behave "well" (from our point of view), that is, how we agreed with him, how we asked him, etc.. NS. - in this case, you cannot trust anyone at all. Any person is a fickle quantity. When we think that we know a person well, we actually know well the most familiar / usual state of consciousness for him. Or two such states, or ten. There are always more options. And in this sense, we do not even know ourselves (thanks, cap, I am aware that you are always there, sometimes you are right). Further. No person can guarantee (including to himself) that he will always behave in accordance with the decision made, the given promise, the established agreement, i.e. "as it should". Those who say that they are always responsible for their words and are always in control of their behavior simply have not yet experienced a radical change in states of consciousness. Or, even more likely, they just don't remember it. It is clear that this not only does not guarantee the absence of such situations in the future, but rather promises that they will certainly be. As long as trust is a guarantee, we cannot even trust ourselves. That is, we can, of course, but this is pretty stupid. And while trust = a guarantee, we will constantly come to the same thing: the possibility of trusting another, as long as he behaves "well", and a crisis of trust after the first (second, third, everyone has their own boiling points) of a "bad" act, destroying our illusions (because the construction "trust = guarantee" is illusory, and the ability to use it for a long time is just a matter of everyday luck. There are such happy coincidences when a partner does not do "bad" deeds, or we simply do not know about them).

But now, sitting on these ruins, we will try to assemble a suitable working structure from the wreckage. What a person can really control is their intention to behave in accordance with promises / agreements, etc. Well, that is, to behave "as it should". Controlling intention does not mean just like that from the first attempt to become master of yourself. It means trying. Do not give up effort either after breakdowns or after a long period of life without breakdowns. In general, until the very end - do not leave. Accordingly, what we can trust or not trust is precisely someone else's intention. Trusting someone else's intention does not mean expecting that the other party's actions will always be "good." This means that we recognize and appreciate the efforts of the other side to improve ourselves (and we like the vector of the direction of this improvement, because, in fact, we may not like the vector, that's another conversation). Trusting someone else's intention, we treat breakdowns exactly as breakdowns. Those. not "ok, now it will always be that way." And not "nothing special happened, let's forget." And we understand that there was a breakdown, this is bad, but, in theory, surmountable. And joint efforts should be aimed, first of all, at supporting the failed side, because the only real danger here is to lose the intention, deciding that nothing is working out and "I am not fit." Sometimes everyone does not succeed, nevertheless, everyone "suits". And finally, the last one. Where does trust come from? Only from the inside. Trust is also the result of will-shaped intention. When forming a decision to test or not to test trust, we, of course, rely on external information, i.e., the actions of the other side and a similar / different idea of the ideal. But the decision at what stage to enable or disable trust is always made by ourselves. Here, by the way, there can also be breakdowns, there is nothing wrong with them, as long as we realize that this is just a breakdown, and not a full-fledged crisis-fucked-up forever. Here it should also be added that with our trust (when it is a volitional decision and a meaningful choice) we also strengthen the intention of the other side (provided that our understanding of the vector of efforts coincides not only at the level of declaration), but this is already from the field of applied magic, intuitive and so clear, and difficult to analyze. And God bless her.