2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Psychotherapy allows you to relieve yourself of responsibility. The very ethereal feeling that after so many years someone is ready to listen to you. A person is able to receive human warmth and attention by taking out a credit card several times. So simple and so effective. More than once I have come across clients who are ready to dive into the process with their heads forever - however, as financially profitable as our potentially prolonged partnership seemed to me, sometimes a bell in my sensitive heart began to ring: enough.
Psychotherapy allows you to relieve yourself of responsibility - for a while.
If you view the therapist as a friend, a contradiction will inevitably arise: does friendship have to be paid for? Maybe it makes sense to arm yourself with the acquired knowledge / awareness and with a pure soul to step towards the open world in order to acquire a worthwhile relationship, where people visit each other to strengthen friendship, and not to the Internet bank?
If you find that therapy sessions are your only glimpses of happiness in a gloomy tunnel of problems leading to disaster, then this article is for you.
In the West, therapy is not cheap. Both patients and therapists are aware of this. Money is almost the simplest way to get what you want: at least, we are used to this way of thinking. You put money on the card - and the pill for heartache is delivered home via Skype. After a session, how often do you experience pleasure, clarity, certainty, and a sense of flight?
In my humble opinion, all of the above sensations are an indicator of the quality of the work of the psychotherapist. However, the real question is: how soon after a session does the feeling of joy fade away?
Through delving into my own psyche and working with clients, I come to the same conclusion every time: the main healing comes during the patient's daily and independent practice, and not during the therapy itself. The psychotherapist is good because he owns the tools to influence the mental state of a person. He can give you a thousand and one great clues that sound logical, clear, and rational. He will put on a parachute and push you to step out of the cockpit. There is one unshakable “but”: he cannot become you.
You will fly.
And even if the state of flight turns you into a bird for a fraction of an instant, if at some point you do not open the parachute, the consequences can be difficult.
Metaphors are metaphors, but if the patient is not ready to transform the recommendations of their therapist into a guide to life and continue to experiment on their own, keeping the summary of the advice in their breast pocket, the sessions threaten to become financially and emotionally draining. The addictions being worked out will be replaced by the addiction to meetings with the therapist himself - the only person who is ready to listen to you without interrupting. Love and attraction to your therapist is a frequent consequence of this relationship.
If you are working with a therapist, it is important to determine for yourself what therapy is for you.
A healthy perception of the therapy process and your relationship with the therapist is the key to success. The word “study” was not mentioned here by chance: the process of therapy itself symbolizes the process of learning. A knowledgeable specialist will make every effort to neutralize the effect of therapy. He will teach you to cope with difficulties on your own: listen to him. A pocket notebook will always come in handy during the session. Review your handwritten notes during the session often. Learn mindfulness by referring to the recommendations of the therapist. What happens to me at any given moment? Have I slipped into my previous perception, experience? Do I expect my therapist to solve all my problems for me while I smoke on the sidelines?
Therapy is irreplaceable in the sense that the therapist is detached from the situation that is happening to you. He can look at the map of his patient's life without getting involved: this is his art. It is from this detached point of view that he will help you convert the situation into a positive one for you. Watching the movie of your life like on a screen, the therapist will empathize with you, but will remain detached - and this is good for the patient thrashing his fists in the water.
Don't let your meetings with therapist serve as a temporary injection of happiness, from storm to storm. Look for a long-lasting, preferably ever-playing result. Don't get addicted to your therapy like a drug. Learn and absorb, and then apply in life. Many of us enjoy listening to the speeches that the knowledgeable of this world sing in tune with our own inner voices. Don't let your therapist's voice become a divine mantra for you. Dealing with your life with your own hands and your own soul, you go to the finish line to a feeling of happiness.
Say thank you to your psychotherapist for the fact that he is able to tell you how to get to this straight line, at the start: he will not be able to run next to you in any way. You must complete the race yourself - and feel at the finish line a sense of joy, contentment, integrity and gratitude. And this is your victory.
Lilia Cardenas, psycholinguist, English teacher, writer
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