Balance Of Rest And Work

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

What are the reasons for the imbalance between work and rest? Why is this situation not uncommon in our time? How to regulate this delicate balance and be able to maintain it?

Who is affected by the imbalance between work and rest? Two types of people can be distinguished here:

Those who find it difficult to relax.

Those who find it difficult to strain.

In both the first and second cases, there is a failure of sensitivity in the zone of internal tension, people do not realize at what moment the tension increases too much, and in general they do not track it.

So, the first type of people - "electric brooms", these are people who constantly live in work (cooking, cleaning, washing, work, etc.). If everything that has been planned has already been done, the person comes up with a new job (for example, another project). In fact, such people constantly sign up for new projects, at work take on responsibilities for which they do not receive payment. On weekends and during rest, they experience increased anxiety, nervousness - something needs to be done, I don't have time, if now I don't do something important, something will definitely happen! And even if you work out anxiety in therapy, the person will be eaten by another feeling - boredom (I'm bored when I'm not doing anything; because of this, I don't feel like a worthy person; I'm not sure that everything is fine with me, but my life moves on).

The second type of people are those who do nothing special. They go to work, but they want to create something of their own after working hours (for example, programmers say that they would love to write some kind of program), but there is no energy for this, and the person sits in front of the TV or plays a game (this is a kind of drainage of the sewage system of energy, voltage). Some people, on the contrary, tend to go into the world of books and fantasies, and as a result, getting stuck in reading, they do not have time to do anything. In fact, there is tension here too. From the outside it seems that the person is relaxed, he goes into the game "headlong". However, after coming out of this state, he is very tense due to self-flagellation (I didn’t do anything, I didn’t do anything!). And even at the moment of proastination, a person, relatively speaking, continues to scourge himself from tension - I am not doing anything! (this voltage cannot find a way out in any way).

How were these characters formed? In both cases, the direct influence was exerted by a very rigid super-ego. What does this mean? A tough and observant mother figure (mother, father, grandmother or grandfather, standing over the child's head and demanding that he study all the time, go to courses, clean the house, keep his desk in perfect order, etc.).

However, there was still greater tension in studies, and the attitude towards work is formed directly through our attitude towards learning. If they stood over the child all the time and forced him to do homework, he did not know at all how to relax (in fact, the parents did not allow him to do this and could even scold him).

What is the difference between these two types of people? As a rule, for a person who finds it difficult to relax, the parents were also “electric brooms”, they did not sit in one place, but showed constant tension at the external behavioral level. Accordingly, the child was scolded, they could even be punished for the fact that he did nothing, did not complete his homework (regardless of whether it was difficult for him to do his homework or not, this moment does not interest the parents; the main thing is that the child was obliged to do homework !). As a result, if a child comes across a difficult problem in mathematics or physics, he will try to figure it out for several hours - this is how the habit of stress is formed from childhood. In people who are characterized by a state of external cognitive relaxation, parents more often show external behavioral relaxation, but in reality, at a deep psychological level, they also experienced constant stress due to something (not necessarily due to actions, but in principle due to life), there could be increased anxiety. So, we have two types of experiences of panic - some are running, the other froze. In this case, these are frozen parents, relatively speaking (somewhere at the behavioral level, they are not active, do not fight for life, do not try to do 5-10 things in one day).

Another difference is that people of the second type learned to escape from reality in childhood. Relatively speaking, it was a canalization of energy or just a redistribution of tension (that is, the tension was directed not at fighting reality, but at going into unreality - books, fantasies, serials, etc.). As a rule, even in adulthood, these people, experiencing an intolerable reality, again go into the world of TV series, games and books, while experiencing a kind of drug addiction (another option is going into workaholism, alcoholism, drug addiction). Real life for such people is very difficult and, having got used to the tension in the game, it is difficult for a person to survive it in reality. In addition, being stuck in a world of illusions, they quickly experience what they want on an idealistic level with the heroes of books or TV series. So, having got used to having fun with his psyche in his idealistic world, in life it will be quite difficult for a person to cope with all the difficulties.

What connects these two types? Stressful parents. For example, a child from 4 years old was sent to a music school, forced to learn English, dance, sing, etc. Another option - the child had to understand the relationship between the parents, he was involved in this negativity, put between mom and dad, mom and grandmother. This situation is typical for children who grew up in alcoholic families (involved in the triangle of parental relationships, they often performed the role of rescuers). People of the second type were basically a "psychological sponge" for collecting tension between parents (accordingly, experiencing this so implicit and unclear tension inside the mind, the child did not understand what to do). The atmosphere of passive negativity between parents is always a great burden on the child. Over time, he gets used to the home situation, and having matured, he will also not do anything, because he was not taught by his parents.

Why are these two types conventionally combined into one type? Both have one problem in the zone of sensitivity to their tension, balance (when to strain, and when to rest). What to do? First, you need to learn how to make a schedule and live by it for a while. In the schedule, it is imperative to distribute the rest. At first, all time frames should be strict (for example, you indicated a rest from 15.00 to 15.30, which means that it should be so). It is better for people with gambling addiction to limit the time of the game, up to setting the timer. It will be quite difficult to switch abruptly from one habit to another (for example, you play 4-5 hours a day) at first, and even more so completely deny yourself this. That is why it is worth setting strict limits and prescribing transitions (half an hour or an hour of work, then switch, then you can rest again, but in a different way). Another complication is that both characters are "sticky" and prone to addiction. Dependence may not be on people, but on some kind of activity (workaholism, games, etc.). In about a month of living according to the schedule, a very good habit of balancing rest and tension will form, and over time, self-sensitivity will appear in this zone.

Do not forget to ask yourself - am I tired now, is it worth taking a break? Fatigue also arises when you play a game for 4 hours - everything hurts, but there is no sensitivity, because emotionally you are in the game. Set yourself an additional timer - every 15-20 minutes ask yourself “Am I tired now? What's with my tension at the moment? How do I feel now? In fact, these are important things that we all need to learn - to address ourselves, to return ourselves to the here and now.