The Essence Of Psychotherapy Is Short And Succinct - Competent Work With Emotions And Feelings

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

In this article I will share my vision of how, in a systematic approach, you can quickly and efficiently work with the emotional sphere of a person. I have already written an article about what feelings are, what they are for, what you need to understand in order to learn how to manage your emotional sphere. Here I want to touch on this topic from the other side, namely to give a clear and unambiguous understanding of what feelings are responsible for what, why they arise and what needs to be done with them.

To begin with, I want to remind you that there are no “bad” and “good” feelings. All the emotions and feelings that we experience are necessary, just some are comfortable (joy, surprise, interest), they suggest that we are doing everything right, while others - uncomfortable feelings and emotions - are given to us so that this discomfort (imbalance systems - I mean a person) to eliminate and bring a person into a balanced state.

The next thing that is extremely important to understand and which I have not yet told is the principles by which the brain and psyche work. Of course, we will analyze only the basic understanding, without which it will be very difficult to understand and edit “our inner filling - the emotional sphere”.

How does memory work?

Let's take a look at how memory works, this is extremely important to understand. Human memory works on the principle of associations, and these associations can be completely different and sometimes NOT conscious (unconscious), at least at first glance. Now it will become clear where I am leading …

For example, let's look at an effect like deja vu. Before that moment, there was something similar with you (it does not matter, directly or indirectly) with what is happening now, and, of course, by association, you know (have a presentiment) what will follow, while consciously you can not to see no similarity between situations (because all the information accumulated over a lifetime is in the Unconscious and you do not realize it all at once). Here is all the "déjà vu" for you.

Thus: a situation in the present, similar to a situation from the past, automatically causes you to FEEL in the present, which may NOT have any rational (logical, Conscious) explanation in the present.

All emotionally significant situations associated with this feeling are written into a specific "memory cell". Moreover, since the feeling also has a specific localized place in the body, where it manifests itself, then all links with this feeling are registered in the same place in the body.

This was partially understood by Freud, who invented the method of "free associations", according to which, if a miracle happens, the psychoanalyst will end up with trauma, with which the psychoanalyst most likely does not know how to work effectively (there is a completely different approach to work).

And for example, in hypnosis or a deep trance state, we do not waste the client's time and money on remembering everything that is possible, but deliberately focus on finding the root cause, but this will already be pure psychotherapy (more precisely, hypnotherapy), and now I am not going to explain in detail what and in what sequence to do. The purpose of this article is completely different.

What we really need is to get EXACTLY in that “memory cell” where the FEELING is written, with which we need to work in all these situations. Once again - we don't care about the situation, it can be almost any, the feeling that accompanies it is important for us, showing the attitude towards it. Moreover, not your current Conscious feeling, but on the contrary, an automatic, Unconscious (and if instinct, then Subconscious) reaction of that little you who decided to react to this type of threat (this is what you need to work with). With this sorted out. Go ahead.

Subconscious, unconscious and conscious:

Now it's time to figure out what "subconsciousness, unconsciousness and consciousness" are. Go. If we imagine as a metaphor that the Subconscious is the BIOS, the Unconscious is Windows, then the Consciousness remains, which in this model can be compared with the random access memory.

Actually, consciousness is that logical part that, like a fonal with the possibility of manual control, illuminates the path in the sea of external threats or opportunities, here it already depends on the person where the focus of attention will be directed. And since consciousness has its limits (that is, it is able to perceive 7 (+/- 2) objects at the same time), the task of the Unconscious and Subconscious is to unload it as much as possible from unnecessary load. Moreover, in actions where instincts and feelings are important (for example, sex or a fight), Consciousness will only interfere.

I hope now at least a primary picture of how everything works, at least at a basic level, begins to take shape in my head.

Let's summarize the material learned:

Every time something happens to you, the unconscious forms a decision and sends it to the subconscious, which transforms it into a feeling in order for you to take an action (instinct triggered).

Let's say your Unconscious decides that the situation is dangerous, directs this reaction to the Subconscious, and it forms a feeling - for example, fear, which in turn pushes you to action (instinct): freeze and think, or run away, or hide or grab something and attack in response. The instinct, as it were, calls on you to restore security (restore the balance of the system), and after that your psyche and your brain (through, for example, various hormones and neurotransmitters) will allow you to feel comfort again.

So one more time: there is a stimulus (threat from the external environment) -> decision (emotion + output) -> feeling in the body -> action (instinct).

Recap to fit in your head

Subconscious:

- instincts;

- reflexes and automatisms;

- systems and subsystems of the body (central nervous system, autonomic, immune, endocrine, sympathetic, parasympathetic systems, etc.);

Unconscious:

- habits;

- beliefs;

- values;

- information accumulated over a lifetime;

- perception filters

Consciousness:

- logical thinking;

Instructions for working with feelings:

And I will probably end with a cherry on the cake. Now you will understand the fundamental part of psychotherapy. Let me remind you of the functions of the senses - they are needed to restore the balance of the system - human or security; Feelings and emotions are the language of your psyche, it is the language of the deep structures of your personality. Now let's take a look at the types of feelings, their functions and what can and should be done with all this:

1st order senses:

- fear - a feeling of insecurity, I am in danger (it is necessary to identify the dominant, eliminate the threat, restore security);

- resentment - they treat me wrong, unfairly, dishonestly (you need to restore justice, forgive the offender);

- guilt - I am doing something wrong with someone, unfairly, dishonestly, I feel guilty (I need to absolve myself of the guilt, change my mind);

- boredom - no significant changes, nothing happens (significant changes are needed);

- sadness - a sense of loss (for example, money or a relationship - you need to recover the loss);

- loneliness - lack of significant relationships (you need to identify the internal reason that prevents intimacy, show love and care);

- shame - something is wrong with me, I am wrong / wrong (you need to find a point of comparison, forgive yourself and realize and express your own uniqueness, realize your value and importance);

- anger - I was hurt physically or / and emotionally (you need to express anger, forgive the offender, neutralize the source of pain);

2nd order senses:

- disappointment - what you do does not work (you need to do something different, then what works, you need a different way of thinking, actions);

- depression - the feeling that you need to stop and stop doing what you are doing (the psyche says: enough, just stop, think);

- panic attack - an uncontrollable feeling of fear (there was a fear of the 1st order, for example, a person suppressed it and it was transformed into a feeling of the 2nd order, to work as with fear);

- pain - stop, stop (you need to ask the question: from what feeling does this pain protect me? Further work with this feeling, so that there would be no sense in pain).

That's all. Until next time. Sincerely Dmitry Poteev.