Mirror Interview

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2024-01-18 02:26

About coaching, the desire to help people … About life and its choices … This article is presented in the form of an interview that has never been published before. Perhaps everyone will find in her something important and deeply personal that will help him on his way in the new world … Thank you for your attention and interest in your destiny and freedom of choice. Happy reading!

Where does such a desire to help come from?

And where does a person want to wait for help? It is very difficult to say where the impulses in each of us for anything come from. For example, it can be argued that motives are a product of complexes, beliefs, values, and some kind of intellect, which, on the basis of all this, makes some decisions that, inside the mind, will look worthy about the current self-esteem. And we can say that desires and impulses, as well as motivation in us, blow out the mass media and everyone to whom we listen. There are also opinions that desires arise as a text that God or that which is present or absent in a person reads and is self-entertained in the process of reading-re-living. I am no exception, like the rest, I also do not know for sure what the reason for me and my desire to perform any action. Maybe everything is simpler and more banal - to earn a living.

What problems did you solve for yourself?

I have not and have not had any problems. What people usually call problems, I call questions, difficulties, or tasks. For by calling everything a problem label, you set yourself a crutch to relieve responsibility, and you also create an obstacle and a refuge in which your sense of “I” is comfortable to continue to be. Saying: "I have problems", you admit defeat, you climb up your ass and from there you solve it. And by saying: "task", you remain outside, and from there it is easier and cleaner to solve any issue. I solved many problems for myself, like any person, I do not have epic stories worthy of YouTube. But I know how to solve almost any problem that can get in the way of a person. In general, the central and key task of everyone is life itself. Question: "How to live?" - that's what everyone needs to decide.

Who can you call mentors?

Everyone you meet in your reality is your mentor. Everyone! There are people with whom you spend more time, and there are those with whom you make eye contact, etc. There is no point in making a list of all transactions. It makes sense to control only the communication that takes place in the moment "now". Past communication is just a library of mentors that you can show off like a photo album with your family on a winter evening, not medals that you always wear on your chest.

What prompted this particular profession?

This question is similar to the first and the answer will be similar. A series of circumstances, events, etc. and, in the end, life itself prompted me to choose the path of an expert in human relations.

The main task of a psychologist, as you understand it?

Realize the true question that the client came to you with, and give him a solution if you can do it.

Who is the easiest to find a common language with?

With yourself, first of all, and only then with any person. Everyone just needs their own approach, but over the years, practice and knowledge, this happens quickly and imperceptibly.

Who do you think needs the help of a psychologist?

Those who need the help of a psychologist need the help of a psychologist. In a global sense, everyone wants simple help that matches his vision of solving his own situation. If you give help that does not fit into the pattern of waiting for the client's help, there will probably be a lack of understanding on his part and resistance to the changes you make with him.

How about privacy?

It seems to me that in today's society people, on the contrary, are looking for - where else to show themselves and tell about themselves, to whom to tell about their merits.

It's all funny. For example, in the pre-Internet / social network era, people were more secretive, they showed themselves and their home album either to relatives and friends who participated in the events in the album, or from outsiders only to those who are added to the family, to the circle of relatives - potential husbands, wife, etc.

And now everything is open and on display, videos are made about everything in a row and posted on the network. There was even an obsession with social media. networks (number of likes, reposts, comments, subscribers, friends, etc.): if a little is bad, if a lot is good.

That's bullshit. People go crazy with loneliness and at the same time have a million friends on social media. networks. But back to the issue of "privacy", which is now unpopular. Some clients even asked to post all the work with them on YouTube, so that a series with their participation would appear, and they received world fame, at least Hollywood producers, or at least their classmates, noticed them.

But let's look at it all from the point of view of meaning. Why all this? What social networks give.

The social network creates a connection between a physical person and his electronic avatar. This is something like the Tamagotchi of the past. You have a pet with your photo on the facestop, with a wall on which "your" posts will be posted, on the assessment of which your self-esteem depends, which can be easily seen if you swear at someone on the wall under any of his posts. Immediately, such a hype will rise only because a real person will begin to protect his pet with all his giblets on the page, he will fight for him as if he was a physical one, because he cannot separate himself from the electronic double. And it's funny. The world is so not particularly with high self-esteem for the most part. And here there is also a shadow electronic world - an understudy of our life, in which there is also a struggle for self-esteem. And in every social network it is duplicated again. If you have 3 social networks and 3 messengers, then consider that you live at least seven lives, you are torn into seven pieces, in each of which you have to assert and abide yourself, educate subscribers, please the eye, delight with the smoothness of forms and depth of views.

Think, do you really need it? Or can these realities be reduced to 2-3 instead of seven? And there will be more time) And life will be cleaner and brighter, because the less virtual activity, the more physical, which is the key, driving all other realities.

How do you perceive clients?

Now I perceive people equally well, I understand that each of them, like me, is struggling with the reality that he fences around himself. Therefore, I try, if not with understanding, then at least with compassion to treat everyone. Clients differ from other people only in that they allow me to give them, in my opinion, clues about their situation. Thanks to the accumulated knowledge, experience, and an exploratory type of thinking, I, most often, manage to get into the top ten for solving problems in the process of coaching.

What do you think about psychologists and psychological service of Ukraine? What would you like to add or change?

I don’t want to “change” psychologists, I don’t care about them, I cannot judge them, and I also cannot dismiss them all, therefore, it remains only to bring my own, but not psychological understanding. I want to swipe at an instruction for life, which does not bear dogma or teachings, but gives practical advice, reveals experience, and gives hints at key aspects in solving all central human problems.

Can you spot a person in need of a psychiatrist on the fly?

I think it is quite easy to distinguish between those in need of psychiatry, and everyone is capable of it. It is worth paying attention at least to the people around the person and you will understand what the person you are interested in is. The people around you are sad or exhausted, cry or laugh, rejoice and dance - this is the key.

Are you supervised? If so, how often?

Not now. Debriefing is needed when there is a penchant for it. For man creates all possibilities for himself. If I give myself the opportunity to get confused in thoughts and passions, then how can I help others with the purification of consciousness. Usually, each person supervises himself after a fresh binge.

What kind of query do customers ask the most?

Women are looking for ways to live with men, and they, in turn, are the opposite. There are also questions of self-realization, which are also inextricably linked with the interaction of the two sexes.

Can a person help himself and in what case?

A person always helps himself. For without him or for himself it is impossible to voice the desire to receive this help. Having voiced a desire, I do not treat him like a piece of flesh that is indifferent to the process, I study his point of view on his reality, give him support and all the necessary tools for transformation, and then he must pass the entire transformation through himself, otherwise nothing will change in his life. I monitor his situation and make adjustments to facilitate the transition stages in the process of growth and movement towards the goal.

Was there a particularly controversial and difficult case?

The case is not. Consulting solves what is difficult for a person. It's all about how socialized a client who comes to consulting is in life. If he or she is sufficiently socialized, it is quite easy to teach or understand them. But if not, then you have to first socialize the client at least partially, and then solve his problem.

What do you understand by coaching, its value?

The modern, trendy form of calling teachers and mentors names is coaches.

The value of coaching for the client may not be so obvious at first, because usually when solving the stated problem, other problems are solved along the way in the background that the client has not previously stated. Therefore, the value of coaching or training is realized over time. But instant value is also present in the form of achieving a set result.

What motivated you to coaching?

Each person has a job or the ability to do something better than others.

Then comes the belief that your ability to do something will benefit others as well.

You try, you get results, and if all goes well, then you exchange your skills with others in exchange for their skills or other values.

Someone cooks well, someone cleans up, fights, goes in for sports, but I’m teaching you how to live in harmony, helping to establish relations between people.

How have customer requests changed recently, what are the trends in the problems of people who apply to you?

There is an opinion that the client and the seller of the service are mutually attracted. Based on the internal program, the first has programs that want solutions, and the second has programs that want to give a solution. To understand the trends in customer demand in the mass, you need to do a large cut across all countries, or at least within at least one city. What is popular among the requests of one teacher, trainer, is no longer popular with another. And it's not about the clients and not about their healers, teachers. World currents are formed by many forces in which there is no one direction, there are only a huge number of conflicting opinions. The trend will always be within the framework of one particular teacher and his students or clients. He can only measure a trend based on his experience and his personal audience.

Those who turn to me usually pursue requests for the meaning of life, the structure of reality, and their sense of self in it, as well as looking for answers to key aspects of life, "how to live?" - this is a frequent question at my seminars.

Is there a feeling of burnout?

No! If something is not going smoothly, then you are running into a semantic or motivational wall inside your thinking. In the opposite case, everything is like moving up the stairs - from simple to complex, but without falls, abrasions and bruises. It is also important in whose reality you live. If you believe that you live in the reality of some people, for example, the reality of an evil government, then, of course, you will burn out at work, and suffer at home, and fight at every step, in every public place for food and dubious power.

But, if you believe that you live in your reality, then another calico of events will happen to you. You will become invulnerable to what previously tormented you, angered you, and caused pain, fear and disgust. You will feel right at home wherever you go, you will easily meet and make great friends, and find the life of your dreams. In your reality, you are a creator, you make life according to your general blueprint. Your life will become your dignity, your masterpiece, your product. At the seminars, I teach the transition from the reality of a serf to your personal reality, worthy of you. Although it is difficult for many people to even imagine, it is all a matter of practice and technique.

Do leaders (managers) need a coach? Who exactly needs it and why?

Coach is needed by those who need constructive communication. If you have enough of this in your life, you don't need coaching. As for the "leaders", the leaders, they need shadow coaching that will secretly counterbalance the key issues in their positions. Because when you have power, it is easy to get confused in your own rules, principles, decisions. It is difficult to see the picture of the world with the same starting relevance. The longer you hold a position, the less criticism you are able to develop in relation to the situation around you in your position. It is thanks to criticism that a polished, verified decision appears in any area of life, since without taking into account conflicting views, the sobriety of what is happening is easily lost.

Whom I would like to help, but could not - was there such a situation?

I help those who need help. I do not choose a target for help, I, on the contrary, like a warehouse, keep help (knowledge, technology, ability) available and provide it to those who are able to need it. I have no failed situations, everything can be solved. And if the first time does not work? Make new attempts, change methods, techniques, teachers, countries, cities, planets, try endlessly, and you will solve any problem.

What experience do you consider the most valuable? Inspirational? On the mutual value of communication.

Communication is the same as exchange. There are 3 forms of exchange:

1. equal - this is when, in the mutual opinion of you and your opponent, you come to the mutual satisfaction of both parties;
2. unequal - this is when one side, explicitly or not explicitly, in her or her opponent's opinion, loses or does not receive some value;
3. an excess exchange is when one of the parties, exchanging something, clearly gives more than is required under the terms of the exchange, making a kind of bonus or donation voluntary in order to sweeten the deal and strengthen the future alliance.

The value of something cannot be objective / existing for everyone in one quantitative or qualitative form. Value is the relationship of an individual to an event or thing, expressed in the importance of an object for an individual. In other words, what is meaningful to you, what is valuable, what is valuable, is in demand for you because you mistakenly or consciously recognize something as a resource that can strengthen your strength for survival. If, for example, you were immortal or at least invulnerable, you would simply not be interested in many things, events and people around us on a daily basis. All your movements in life are conditioned, if not funny, only by survival. Take away your obsession with death - everything would change for you, the world would turn upside down forever and completely. All inspiration, value, opinions, fears, preferences, all your choices are dictated by the fear of death.

Thank you for reading, if you have any questions, suggestions, thoughts and I can be useful, please contact in any convenient way. Good luck!