FOUR SIGNS OF A NATIVE SOUL

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

I wrote this list for my book "Italy. Sea of amore", which is generally devoted to the peculiarities of marriage with an Italian, all sorts of funny stories and tourist attractions

But since a psychologist is forever, then even in a book written in anre non-fiction, I could not do without giving advice to girls who meet with Italians, receive a marriage proposal from him, and - this comes subtle moment - psychologically find themselves in a situation where you need to make a final decision - yes or no.

And only later, receiving feedback from readers and readers, it dawned on me that this list is quite suitable not only for such a highly specialized group of brides who are going to marry a foreigner, but in general for the situation before making a final decision.

I am publishing this excerpt.

These are the psychological litmus tests I propose to use when making this important decision:

1. You are safe with him. You ride with him in the car, don't talk about anything, sitting next to him, but you would so like to go for a long, long time. As that woman Lyudmila said (the story is described in one of the chapters of the book - ed.) that she married a driver-guide from Rimini, if this is the person to whom you want to snuggle up, with whom you can keep quiet, with whom it is pleasant to plan a vacation and just the future, with whom thoughts coincide. For example, I was shocked when I first discovered this with Roberto. I have never had this with anyone before. And with him suddenly - that same absolute reliability of a loved one.

2. Consonance in thoughts. A person is right for you if he thinks the same way as you. And this manifests itself … in actions. With my husband, this resonance immediately began to manifest itself in the smallest detail. For example, on my first visit, I thought that my then possible spouse did not have enough bar stools with a red leather seat to complete the kitchen. And as soon as I was going to tell him that there is an idea, he continues my thought one to one. The same consonance in thoughts was found not only by the details of the interior, but also by the questions - where to go, what to do, what to cook for dinner … Sometimes we uttered the same word in chorus, or decided to wink at each other at the same second and it turned out that winked at the same time. Every time they coincided, they immediately burst out laughing. Such comfort is the first indicator that at least it will be convenient for you to live together, you have suitable psychotypes.

3. Answer yourself one question. He's tricky and not very pleasant. So, if this person were not Italian (and also did not occupy the status that you like, or would not have those talents that attract, etc.) add-on specifically for this post, ed.), but would be Russian, Chinese, yes of any nationality, would live in your hometown, while remaining as it is, would you marry him? If not for Italy? Often there are 50-50 answers. Italy is wonderful and tasty, fragrant and stylish, but this is just a nice bonus. And you will have to live not with Italy, but with a specific person. Answer this question as honestly as possible to yourself.

Would you be ready to follow him, like a Decembrist, to go to the ends of the world? People (this is normal!) Strive to get well in life. But sometimes they forget that by making compromises with their souls, they will then pay a much higher price. Some girls on the forums of Italian wives say that after a few years they cannot look at Italy, they are just waiting for a vacation to go to Russia. Love for the homeland also exists in each of us. It is important that love for a man was … no more, no … at least just was. She will already defeat any nostalgia.

4. There is also such a way to understand whether this is your person. Look at your photoswhen he filmed you. If you look prettier, lighter, better, happier on them than usual in photographs - this is him, your betrothed.